ESPN Has Mastered The Art Of Making Grown Men Cry

The World Wide Leader is cutting onions every time you turn on the TV.

No one cares about the ESPY Awards. It's that simple. Fans don't care about who wins Best Team or Greatest College Athlete Twitter Controversy. People watch for two reasons: 1) it's the only thing on TV and 2) the emotional segments that leave men weeping on the living room couch. Over the course of the past month or so ESPN has demonstrated an acute awareness of how well they can tug on heartstrings, but last night was their tour de force. The following three segments are the reason the ESPYs exist, and each is equally wonderful. Please do yourself a favor and watch them all.

Best Moment — Jack Hoffman

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Why you're not looking anyone in the eye: Jack Hoffman is a 7-year-old Nebraska fan with brain cancer. During the Cornhuskers' most recent spring game Hoffman suited up with the team and ran for a 69-yard touchdown run, which brought the crowd to its feet and will bring tears to all parts of your face.

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Arthur Ashe Award for Courage — Robin Roberts

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Why you're going to need a tissue: You all know Robin Roberts as the affable and incredibly humane Good Morning America host. You remember her days at ESPN. You remember when she got sick. You remember when she got better. Now, listen to her whole incredibly touching story.

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Jimmy V Perseverance Award — Team Hoyt

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Why it's going to get dusty: Dick Hoyt's son Rick has cerebral palsy, and he has been pushing him in marathons and triathlons for 34 years in a effort to give him a normal life. This year's Boston Marathon was supposed to be their last. Now they're running one more.

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Damn you, ESPN.