Skip To Content

    You Guys, Eggnog Is Absolute Garbage

    Why does it look like that?!

    Eggnog is a revolting holiday cocktail — NAUSEA INCARNATE, if you will. Here's why:

    1. First of all, eggnog is made out of raw eggs and milk.

    2. To cover up this repulsive taste, even the lowfat kind is loaded with double the sugar content of soda.

    3. The result is something that tastes like a runny, chemical custard.

    4. But TBH, eggnog's appearance itself should turn you off: Nothing should look like THIS in its undigested state.

    5. Or like a science project gone very, very wrong.

    6. Nor should it require the presence of alcohol to STERILIZE IT.

    7. No matter how hard you try to fancy it up, eggnog will always look like a cross between sour cream and curdled milk.

    8. This time of year, there is nothing worse than a holiday party with eggnog as the only beverage option.

    9. ... Because it's impossible to have more than one cup without feeling sick from the overdose of milk fats, sugar, and booze-in-hiding.

    10. *Dies on the inside*

    11. And don't get me started on aged eggnog, aka LITERALLY old eggs.

    12. To top it all off, it bears a strong resemblance to mayonnaise, the other egg-based abomination.

    13. Look at this photo and tell me right now: is this a cup of mayo or eggnog? YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

    Say NO to eggnog this holiday season.