Everyone knows how to make scrambled eggs.
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Or at least, they think they do.
You just whisk up some eggs, plop them on a pan, and — bam! Scrambled eggs, the best single-ingredient breakfast there ever was.

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But according to chef, travel show host, and general badass Anthony Bourdain, there's a way* to make scrambled eggs that's better than the others.

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*His way, obviously.
In a video interview with Tech Insider, he gave the full step-by-step:
Start off by heating your pan — but not too much.

Crack fresh eggs on a flat surface and into a bowl.

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Cracking eggs on a flat surface as opposed to the edge of a pan minimizes shell breakage.
Add salt and pepper into the mixture — but no water or any kind of cream.

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"I just don't feel that milk or cream adds anything," says Bourdain. "It's about the egg. You're not making a quiche here, you're making scrambled eggs."
Beat the eggs until you get a "ripple of white and yellow throughout."

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But don't let this mixture sit — beat the eggs right before you're about to put them in the pan.
Add a generous slice of butter to your hot pan and let it melt, or "foam."

Place the eggs in the buttered pan and let them cook for a bit.

Create texture by pushing the mixture around in a figure-8 pattern.

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But don't try to manipulate the eggs too much, or else you'll end up with "tiny little bits of egg as your final product," says Bourdain.
Finish cooking when you have "something fluffy, airy, rippled, with a nice textural note when you taste the egg."
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Bone app the teeth!
And there you have it — a guide to making the perfect scrambled eggs, and at least five new ways to describe eggs. To watch the whole video, check out the Tech Insider video below:
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How do you make your eggs?
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vote votesJust like this — my great-great-great-great-great grandma honestly invented this method.
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vote votesWith some kind of dairy, like a normal person.
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vote votesEh, I prefer my eggs sunny side up/poached/over easy/etc.
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vote votesSome other way that I'll explain in the comments.
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vote votesEW EGGS.