Being a parent takes some serious work. We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share the hardest parts of parenting that not enough people talk about.
Here's what they had to say:
1. "Suddenly having a fear of death because your baby needs you. Legit the first month after giving birth, I had this gnawing fear because it dawned on me that nobody could love and sacrifice for my son the way I do. Apparently, this is common among mothers."
2. "You will be sick nonstop for the first 5–10 years of EACH of your kids' lives. They will bring home all the germs and share them with you. And when they get a stomach bug, it will likely permeate the entire household. Then, YOU will be throwing up, but the kid will be better, and you'll have to take care of them. The snot, coughing, and puking never ends!"
—Anonymous
3. "Everyone will judge you. If you vent about the hardships, someone will bash you and tell you why you aren't allowed negative feelings. If you love it, someone will bash you and tell you parenting isn't enough somehow. It's always someone saying something."
4. "Being a single parent and knowing one day you will have to explain to them why their other parent didn't want to be their parent. Because no matter what the answer is, you believe part of your child will always feel unwanted."
—Anonymous
5. "Mom guilt vs. dad privilege. No matter what you do as a mom, you're being judged and screwing your kid up in some way. Whereas, dads get all the applause for what is a very basic expectation for a mom."
6. "Your parents getting mad at you for not parenting the way they did or the way they think you should."
7. "Knowing that they’re growing and won't stay little. It's incredibly bittersweet. You try and hold on to those moments knowing you're going to miss them terribly."
8. "The self development it'll challenge you to address, and quickly. Better listening, increased patience…learn quick or you'll be frustrated quick."
—Anonymous
9. "The fact that it's 24/7 and there's always a ticking clock, especially with a baby. Once you feed or change them, the clock just resets over and over. No matter what kind of long or sh--ty day you're having, there's a little person who relies on you for survival."
10. "You never know if you have the right answer."
11. "The ache in my chest when I am away from them. It's a physical reaction for me. The constant urge to want to protect them from the world, but at the same time, knowing they need to head off into this world."
12. "As they get to be adults and you reflect on your time with them as children, you recognize all the times you messed up, weren't there, lost your temper, and weren't the best you could be. Then, you hope and pray that despite all that, you still raised them to be resilient and they turn out to be good people regardless of the mistakes you've made. When you come to this realization is when you call your kids, apologize for all your mistakes, tell them you're proud of them, and make sure they know you love them, just in case you didn't show it to them enough when they were younger."
13. "There are times you envy your childless friends."
14. "The anxiety around the unknown. There is no manual to a kid. You learn as you go. You're always second-guessing things and trying to figure out if you made the right call. Every time my kids get sick, start teething, or just have a bad day overall, I feel like a failure, but you just have to hope that the next day will be better."
15. "How frustrating it is to not have time to yourself, and feeling guilty for wanting space from them."
16. "Never having enough energy to give them. You want so much to have all the energy in the world to play with them and spend quality time with them, but you're always so tired from your 40+-hour or whatever work week, dishes, laundry, and bottles. There's never enough energy leftover to be who you want to be for them!"
17. "Not knowing how your kid will turn out. You can try your best, be a devoted parent, and your kids will, at best, still make little and big mistakes. At worst, they can still just grow up to be a--holes despite your best efforts."
18. "Explaining the world in an honest way without scaring them. We've had big talks the last few years: racism, LGBTQ rights, school shootings, riots, insurrections, and sexual assault. It's been hard trying to explain things that I don't always have an answer to."
19. "The hardest part of being a parent is watching your kid get hurt. I'm not talking physically hurt, but emotionally hurt. Like, the normal kid stuff where friends grow apart or a crush doesn't like them back. For me, it has been the most difficult to watch my kiddos get their feelings hurt or their hearts broken. It absolutely KILLS me when another kid (or adult) doesn't see how wonderful my kid is."
20. "Worrying about your kid being bullied and the best way to go about it, but equally worrying if your kid might be bullying someone else."
—Anonymous
21. "Becoming comfortable with the fact that your child may not want to do the things you envisioned them doing. I have had to understand that my kid is who they want to be, not who I thought they would be."
And finally...
22. "The most important thing you can do is care. Kids aren't raised in the big moments, they're raised in the small ones."
What do you consider the most challenging parts of parenting? Share your experience in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.