When it comes to dating, we all have things we like and others we could care less about it. Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share what they no longer tolerate in a potential S.O. now that they're older. Here are some of the things people have zero interest in that you might also agree with:
Note: Some submissions are from this Reddit thread.
1. "A guy who thinks every woman who talks to him must fancy him, because why else would a woman speak to a man?!"
2. "Anyone who tries to avoid talking about the big issues (i.e. kids, religion, politics). It tells me they're just looking for someone, as opposed to the right one. They're not serious, they're not looking for something real, and they're just going to waste my time."
—Anonymous, Washington
3. "The flakiness crap. I wish I didn't waste my time 'waiting' for a response. Are you in or are you out? I've got things to do. Just be an adult and tell the person that you're not interested instead of stringing them along."
4. "Coming into a relationship thinking I need you. No, no I don't. I'm a single woman who pays their own way in life. If I'm talking to you, it's because I want you around, not because I need you around."
5. "If I'm talking to a guy and he says that he doesn't read books, it's an instant dealbreaker. I like to have intellectual conversations, and I'm sick of seeing their eyes glaze over as soon as I start talking. So, if he has no intellectual curiosity, we just won't have anything in common."
6. "Managing to always brag about his money, car, [or] lifestyle. Plus, name dropping famous people he's 'good friends' with. I just want you to be a real person, be honest with me, [and] be a good conversationalist. If we click, great. If we don't, it ain't the end of the world."
7. "At age 18, I wanted someone with a matching taste in music. Now, I don't care, and I enjoy getting to know new music."
8. "If they have to always be right and make everything a competition. It's just tiring when it's all the time."
9. "One of my exes could only cook two things: frozen pizzas, and rice and chicken with no spices or seasoning. Looking back, that was a HUGE red flag that the ex in general was not able to care for themselves, let alone be able to care for anyone else. I felt like their mother, and eventually, it got so bad that I finally broke up with them. Now, I'm with a partner who can cook so many meals, including really complicated recipes. It's a little thing, but a huge tell."
10. "Communication is huge for me, and I need a partner who can handle conflict, voice their concerns, and generally use their words. I need someone who's ambitious and can have a sense of humor. It's really nice to be able to weed people out now."
11. "Anyone who can't clearly state their intentions with dating. I'm so sick of seeing/hearing 'not really sure what I'm looking for.' I know exactly what I want and what I'm looking for, and I'd really like to meet someone else who is in the same boat. Unfortunately, that feels almost impossible to find these days. Everybody wants to keep things 'casual' and undefined. Sorry, that just doesn't work for me."
12. "Willfully dismissing or ignoring anything woman-forward. If their preference in music, books, or movies has almost no women voices, I would find that concerning now in a way that did not occur to me in my teens and 20s."
13. "When I was a teen, I wanted a scruffy, rebellious skater dude to be my boyfriend. As I got older, I started craving settled, ambitious people who have their lives together. Like my current boyfriend."
14. "Men who always want to be so early to everything, then complain about you taking so long. I don't want to arrive an hour early for whatever when there's no need. I understand if something is first come, first served, but reserved seats and still an hour early? They can wait."
—Beccy Hinkel, Colorado
15. "If they are not 100% into you. I'm so over the halfhearted, wishy-washy thing. Yuck. It's just so clear that they're hanging on to you as they continue to scope the field and see if there is something better out there."
16. "I thought I wanted someone who got jealous because my husband never was. The first time my husband got jealous, I was like, hell no, I do not like this AT ALL."
17. "Needy adult children that can't take care of themselves and rely on their parents. I end up second all the time."
18. "I used to place so much undue importance on having the same hobbies, likes, favorites, etc. Yes, having some of those things in common is great, but it's just a piece of candy where things like shared values, goals, and relational compatibility are the 'bread and butter.'"
And finally...
19. "People who struggle to be single. It didn't bother me when I was younger, but as I've gotten older, I've realized that it's a good idea to have a partner who is comfortable being on their own for a period of time, even if they also enjoy spending time with you."
What other traits are you no longer attracted to nowadays? Share them in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.