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    Honestly, Goldilocks Was The Absolute Worst

    Goldilocks, what's good?!

    Everyone has heard about the story of the Goldilocks and the Three Bears, right? Yes, the sweet and seemingly innocent childhood story about a girl who loses her way in the woods and ends up in the house where the three bears lived?

    Sometimes folks can romanticize the past, thinking that it was better than it actually was. Same goes for childhood stories. Let's talk about how Goldilocks was legit kind of a butthole.


    First of all, why did Goldilocks think it was OK to break into someone else's home? Who does that? Is that cool in these nursery rhyme streets?!

    ╰☆Tempest Rosca ☆╮ / Creative Commons / Via

    Cool, I guess you can just do whatever you want because you're running around the woods unsupervised!

    Secondly, not only does she trespass, she decides that she is HUNGRY and eats the food that the bears have worked hard to prepare. Does she know how hard those three bears had to work to make ends meet?

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    And then she tasted all of the food, which is incredibly inconsiderate.

    The bears returned home later that evening, because I assume that have jobs and don't spend their days violating other people's property and personal space like their blonde haired intruder.

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    Look at baby bear. He's like, "Who the hell ate my food. I was waiting to eat this all day and now it's gone!"

    Goldilocks also takes it upon herself to languish all over the furniture in the house. Someone needs to check their human privilege.

    ╰☆Tempest Rosca ☆╮ / Creative Commons / Via

    She ended up breaking a few items in the house and even SLEPT in the bear family's bed until she found the one that was "just right."

    Even after breaking some of the property, she didn't even bother to fix or replace it. And that's just wrong.

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    Goldilocks continues to not give a single fuck about her actions throughout the story. Look at her face. She's all, "Ugh, whatevs" about it.

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    In the original tale, the bears catch her SLEEPING in one of their beds. Imagine how bold you have to be to break into someone's house and sleep in their bed, their personal sanctuary.

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    And then she has the nerve to look frightened when it's the bears who should be terrified of her.

    Thankfully no one was hurt in the end, even though everything Goldilocks did was foul as hell.

    ╰☆Tempest Rosca ☆╮ / Creative Commons / Via

    Like, I doubt the Three Little Pigs would've been as forgiving as the bears in this story. Those swine didn't play.

    In conclusion, Goldilocks was rude as fuck.

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