We've all had that one "friend" or coworker who is just a little TOO nice. Like to the point where every time you make eye contact, they make this face:
More often than not, these overly nice people actually have ill intentions. So when redditor u/shockedpikachu123 asked the r/AskWomen subreddit what "fake nice" behaviors are used by actually terrible people, these ladies got real.
So let's get into it!
1. "Talking loudly and incessantly about how 'nice' they are. I've found that actually nice people almost never do this."
2. "When another woman calls me 'babe' or 'girlie' or anything along those lines, it's a red flag."
3. "This can be hard to spot sometimes due to perspective, but when someone is only nice to you because they find you attractive and treat other people they do not find attractive like total garbage."
4. "Constant flattery is a big red flag to me. It’s one thing to compliment someone on occasion. But when it’s constant it seems insincere and like there are ulterior motives."
5. "Wanting to know why you don't have kids, or aren't religious or whatever job you have to criticize you later."
6. "When they are nice, but keep trying to meet up with you alone, even though you guys hardly know each other."
7. "When they use a high pitched (fake kindness) voice when asking questions about my life."
8. "They make you feel like you're the greatest every time they see you. But they would never contact you."
9. "When I said bye to my toxic coworkers I'd been working with for only a few months, they did a whole thing where they hugged me, like 'Oh we're gonna miss you baby!' and just, literally never spoke a word to me again."
10. "In my experience, the people who constantly share deep quotes on Instagram about being kind to one another, 'be the kind of girl who fixes another girl's crown without telling the world it's crooked,' so on and so forth, are the ones who are all too ready to tear others down and chase drama in the real world. It's as though they either feel as though they're the victim of a situation or are trying to overcompensate for their behavior."
11. "Agreeing with everything you say, and all your opinions — seems insincere."
12. "Backhanded compliments. For example: 'Oh, you were better at that then I thought you would be.'"
13. "When they are so supportive and consoling when something bad happens to you, but when you are doing well and something great happens, they aren’t around or show you the same attention. Sometimes it seems like they thrive when you are doing worse than them."
14. "In my experience, it was people who gave advice when you weren't asking for it (repeatedly). Every time I met a person this way, they would always end up being the type of person who would bad mouth their past friends and would say things about people not appreciating them and taking them for granted. But I always would observe this type of person doing the advice or overly helpful behavior as a way to distract or convince you that you need them somehow and as an excuse to lash out and play victim when you don't. This is not to say people giving advice or help is bad. I'm talking about repeatedly doing this even after you kindly, or indirectly, or even respectively portray you aren't necessarily looking for advice or help at that moment."
15. "Love bombing. They seem so friendly and genuine but beware! Have never met a love bomber that wasn’t toxic/a narcissist."
16. And finally, "People buying things for me 'just because,' all within a short period of time. The people I know who have done this are usually hustling. They prey on those they think they can manipulate for their own gain. Financial, some type of access, whatever it is."
Recognizing these "fake nice" behaviors as potential red flags is CRUCIAL.
Have you experienced any "fake nice" behaviors that you want to warn others about? Tell us in the comments!
Some comments may have been edited for length/clarity.