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The Top 10 Things I Learned From Blair Waldorf

"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night screaming 'tights are not pants!'"

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1. Know Your Worth

And no, this doesn’t mean choose the guy who can afford to buy you Cartier over BaubleBar. Blair obviously had very high standards and a clear sense of who she was. She never settled for less than what she knew she deserved. She even walked away from Chuck—however painful it was—when he couldn’t express his true feelings for her (“3 words. 8 Letters.”) She even made it clear to Serena that she didn’t have to be in an open relationship if she didn’t want to because she was worthy of a guy who would move mountains for her. There isn’t a boy cute enough or a job dreamy enough to make you compromise your self-worth or values.

2. Friendship is Everything

After season 3, it was pretty clear that the audience would always be treated to a variation of the B vs. S storyline. Luckily, it never got old, and neither did the other spats within the gang. Yet, as bad as things got, the underlying love Blair, Serena, Nate, Chuck, and Dan (I guess) had for each other always pulled through. And tough love when needed is totally fair game.

3. Recognize Toxic Relationships

It seems most of my friends—myself included—have been in a toxic relationship of some kind, be it with a friend, partner, or family. Chuck and Blair definitely aren’t the poster couple for healthy relationships. During their many breakups, Blair finally understood that while you can’t choose who you fall in love with, you can choose how you love them. Sometimes that means from afar, especially if it’s safer for everyone.

4. Make It Happen and Never Give Up

It’s so easy to sit and wait for destiny to put the pieces of your life’s puzzle together. Well, “Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.” If nothing else, Blair taught me how to take initiative and fight for what I want. Nothing will be handed to me on a silver platter. What’s more, never take “no” for an answer. I won’t let the universe decide for me. If I really want something, I won’t stop until I get it.

5. Don’t Run Away from Your Problems

I could barely handle my teenage angst let alone the stresses of the Upper East Side. Yet, season after season Blair breezed through embarrassing, scarring, scandalous and ridiculous situations. Minus that one time she tried to run away to Paris, Blair stood tall in Louboutins in the face of every adversity that came her way. Isn’t that a novel idea in the age of ghosting?

6. Fashion Means Something. Really.

Disclaimer: the main reason I watched Gossip Girl was the clothes. I was obsessed with the wardrobes. Fashion was my way of solidifying my identity and rebelling against a strict, uber-conservative family, and helicopter mother. Fashion is a common unifier; thought goes into everyone’s outfits, even if it’s just a decision to wear matching socks. So the next time someone says fashion is frivolous, quote Blair: “Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It’s movement, design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we’d like to be.”

7. Keep Your Heart In Check

An entire industry has been built on following your heart. Yet, everyone conveniently ignores how the heart is folly and can get you hurt. Just ask Anne Boleyn. While it’s romantic to imagine floating through life with your heart on your sleeve, controlling your emotions is essential to success. I even think it’s in the Bible.

8. Forget Boys.

Blair dropped a truth bomb when she passed on her crown to Little J: Forget boys and keep your eyes on the prize. I was in high school when I saw the Season 2 finale and just as desperate to find a boyfriend. That pivotal moment put things in perspective, and pushed me to focus on my dreams. I realized I didn’t need a man to complete me. My personal growth and goals deserved to be my top priorities.

9. Don’t Let People Tell you Who You Are

High school is a cesspool of labels and stereotypes, and life afterwards isn’t much better. Rather than allow people to dictate who she was and what she could/could not do, Blair made it very clear what it meant to be a Waldorf woman. Following the herd is cool until it’s not. Don’t let anyone shame or push you into being someone you’re not.

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