Animals·Posted on Jul 8, 2013The Terrible Truth About Adorable Baby GoatsSure, they're cute and all, but those kids are jerks. There's just no getting around it.by Megan McCormickBuzzFeed ContributorFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink i.imgur.com Oh sure, baby goats LOOK adorable and all cuddly and great, but they have a dark side. i.imgur.com This little guy next to the soda bottle, who looks so teeny tiny and adorable he doesn't even seem real, is actually a little fuzzy devil. i.imgur.com Don't let their posing fool you. Beneath those pointy ears lie some of the biggest jerks you've ever seen. i.imgur.com First of all, they jump on human heads. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF i.chzbgr.com / Via cheezburger.com And they'll kick a dude in the crotch just to watch him cry. i.imgur.com And they aren't shy about head-butting people when they're feeling particularly feisty. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF i.chzbgr.com / Via cheezburger.com "Oh hey there, lady, feeling comfortable? NOT FOR LONG." — This Goat Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF blogger.com / Via bestgifmoments.com They don't just go after humans, either. Here we see a group of innocent adorable puppies get bowled over by... what? You guessed it! A baby goat.NO MERCY FOR EVEN THE PUPPIES. i.imgur.com What looks like an adorable donkey at a petting zoo to you is actually just the goat's next victim. Just look at him! NO SHAME. i.imgur.com And when YOU see a tortoise you probably think about how slow and majestic they are. So much history! What does a baby goat see? HER NEXT RIDE."Away we go! FASTER TORTOISE! FASTER!" i.imgur.com Oh, and that harmless sheep resting in the sunshine? GOAT'S STEPPING STOOL. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com Look at this poor hippo. Just trying to go about its day... and a goat stands on it. How rude! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com At least this horse tries to fight back against it. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com But this poor pig has just given up and resigned itself to being the goat's personal trampoline. That can't be good for its self-esteem, literally getting walked all over. :( Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF i.chzbgr.com / Via cheezburger.com I mean really, LOOK at this little thing. Too young to successfully attack even a stump, but the sheer desire to DESTROY overcomes her. And who's there to cheer her on? HER OWN MOTHER.You can just hear it now: "Oh hooray, honey! Yes, attack! Never assume an inanimate object is innocent!" Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF i.chzbgr.com / Via cheezburger.com And this little guy laughs in the face of your no-jumping-on-the-bed rule. Your furniture is his victim! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF i.chzbgr.com / Via cheezburger.com Oh, and here's PROOF that their parents train them to be jerks. "That's right, son! Oh, oh wait... nope, not strong enough yet. BOOM, you're down. Best go practice on some more puppies!" i.imgur.com OK, I know what you're thinking. You're still not convinced that baby goats are evil because, yes, they are cute, and sometimes cuteness distracts from evil. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com I think all of us are guilty of looking at a baby goat getting a bath and melting a little bit. But DON'T GIVE IN. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com Remember that for every instance of a kid snuggling up with his turtle... Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com ...there's a goat out there forcing a tortoise to be its personal taxi. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF arwrath.com / Via gifif.com And for every goat that's really good at surfing... Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF tumblr.com ...there's a group of kids impatiently waiting to stomp on a poor old man. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF tumblr.com The final proof: BEHOLD, public enemy number one: BUTTERMILK. She turns on the very goats that call her family. When they LEAST EXPECT IT. Just look at that savagery! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF gifrific.com And just when the fallen goat regains his composure, Buttermilk's there to knock him down AGAIN. A bold move only a master villain could conceive of. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF i.chzbgr.com / Via cheezburger.com But don't get too worried -- looks like even the toughest group of goats is no match for the ultimate weapon: the umbrella.