Most of us have had that moment when we're observing the way a couple interacts, and something in the back of our mind says, "This isn't going to last." Recently, u/dazzling_leopard4627 asked people on Reddit to share the telltale signs that a relationship may be doomed, and they had so much to say. Here are some of the top replies:
1."Excessive humble-bragging posts. Almost all the couples I’ve seen who do that on my social media are now broken up. I can’t help but feel like there’s a correlation."
2."Not giving each other the benefit of the doubt when a miscommunication or something happens. Quick to just assume the worst."
5."When one party starts a fight in order to keep the relationship 'interesting' or 'spice things up.' While conflicts or arguments are pretty normal, starting up one for the sake of not having a 'boring relationship' is bonkers to me."
12."Power imbalance. It could come from anywhere: differences in education, appearance, earning ability, social skills, level of luck, amount of self-discipline, mismatched libidos, ability to lie, deceive, or gaslight. When there's an inequality in power, there's a chance for contempt to plant a seed. Once there's a seed of contempt, the relationship is doomed. I have seen this so many times."
15."When one or both of the people initiated the relationship via cheating on someone else. My rule of thumb is: if they’ll cheat on someone else with you, they’ll cheat on you with someone else. In my experience, the narcissistic character flaws that would cause someone to cheat in the first place are almost impossible to change into adulthood. Why the fuck anyone would want to be with someone who felt okay with emotionally destroying someone else is beyond me."
16."When the relationship is adversarial and not nurturing. Your partner should literally be that: A partner on a team who supports you and shares both wins and losses. Too many people think a relationship is zero-sum and have to 'win' within it. Pure unhappiness."
17."Heard a female friend say about her fiancé, 'Oh, he's my little project.' Lasted just over a year. Shocking."
18."Any sort of 'he/she doesn't do the chores.' If the issue is big enough they tell friends about it, then communication usually isn't possible or isn't productive. Eventually, someone's going to be pissed about the greasy pan being put on a sink full of soapy dishes, and that's that."
19."They have horrible communication skills with each other or can't talk through issues."
20."Point scoring. Keeping track of who won the argument, who spent last weekend with friends, and for how long, snippy jabs about those things in front of friends and family. Then, when an argument inevitably breaks out, bringing out that mental tally and using it as a verbal weapon to 'win the argument.' I have seen it happen in a few couples now. All divorced within 10 years."
21."When one side seems to do all the work in the relationship. Those don't last very long. Generally, they end in one of two ways: Either the person doing all the work realizes they're doing like ALL the work and tells the other person to fuck off, or the person doing none of the work keeps raising their standards for the amount of work the other person needs to do for them until the other person fails and they start shopping around for some other poor sucker to grind the will to live out of."
22."When it’s obvious they don’t like each other. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes I’m around certain couples, and they don’t laugh at the same things, don’t share any hobbies or interests, and make little playful 'jabs' constantly. If you aren’t friends, you aren’t going to make it."
23."Money handling differences. A spender paired with a saver is a recipe for fights. What's even worse — two spenders. 'What I'M buying is fun, what YOU'RE buying is stupid!'"
24."When you can feel that they are not speaking to each other. They might put on a show at the restaurant or with friends, but you notice that every time they 'have to' talk to keep up the show, the other party answers with as few words as possible with no emotions. When me and my ex-wife were getting closer to the end, the silent treatment was our go-to trick, both of us. It really quickly gets tiresome and other people notice fast."
28."One being affectionate and the other not at all, like not even bare minimum."
29."When they don't figure out how to talk about their problems with each other like adults. If they're too scared to talk about their problems then things will erode over time until one or both people can't handle each other and hit a breaking point."
30."It’s anecdotal, but 100% of the couples I know that renewed their vows are now divorced. Almost like it was a desperate attempt to right the sinking ship."
31."A pattern of 'resolving' arguments with gifts."
32.And finally, "If they have that one base conflict they always come back to, and it never gets resolved. Every small argument ends up being the same old argument about that same root issue."
