A recent survey of adults from over 100 countries found that one in four people reported feeling lonely. And recent warnings about loneliness from the World Health Organization and the US Surgeon General have some saying that we're in a loneliness epidemic.
Loneliness is often portrayed as affecting more older adults, but rates of loneliness have risen in young people as well — especially since the pandemic. The Surgeon General's advisory reported that 15- to 24-year-olds have 70% fewer interactions with friends than they did just two decades ago.
It's not hard to explain why — lockdowns and online schooling changed young peoples' social lives overnight. But even before 2020, the prevalence of social media had young people interacting through screens more and more, and often feeling worse as a result.
Recently, 24-year-old Aimun Amatul-Hayee (@accountofbuddies) from Atlanta, Georgia did something big to break out of her loneliness. In 2023, Aimun went on 50 Bumble BFF dates, and she's going viral for sharing what the experience taught her about making friends as an adult.
In a video that's been viewed more than a million times, Aimun talks about the lessons she's learned and her tips for anyone who's looking for new friends online. She starts by saying, "I went on 50 Bumble BFF dates and I went from someone who had no friends to someone who has a flourishing social life."
Then, she shares seven tips she learned in the process:
1. "First, we're all there for the same reason. There's no point in just swiping right and matching for no reason. Instead of trying to get to know the person over text, try to meet up at a coffee shop within the first day of matching."
2. "People pleasing. That juice is not worth the squeeze. After meeting so many people, I've learned that people pleasing will only get you used."
3. "Do not go on a trip with someone that you just met online."
4. "Text each other about random things throughout the day. It just makes your relationship more fun."
5. "Find something you both like doing and do it regularly. Preferably like once a week."
6. "I went on Bumble BFF when I was kind of broke. So I had to create a list of just dates I want to do that were free. So do that for yourself."
7. "Introduce them to people that you know and they will introduce you to people they know. That's how you'll get more friends."
And she closes the video saying, "Over time, you're going to stop overthinking about who you are as a person and start being confident in who you are and what you bring to the table. Most importantly, have fun. We're all here for the same reasons. So just enjoy it and see where it takes you."
In the comments, people shared their success stories with meeting new friends on the platform:
But others said they didn't have much luck making new friends:
While some shared other ways they've made and kept up with new friends.
And she may have even made another new friend from sharing her story.
Aimun told BuzzFeed that this is actually her second time trying to meet new friends on the platform. "I first started using Bumble BFF in 2021 because quarantine had stripped me of a lot of my college experience and I didn’t have a lot of opportunity to meet people. I tried for a month but never ended up meeting anyone."
But she found herself back on the app in 2023 as many of her longtime friends were moving or entering new stages of life. "This time, I was more intentional with it. I played around with what the best way to interact with people online was for about a month until I came up with the perfect formula. Once I did that, I put my tips and tricks in my Bumble BFF profile, and I got so much feedback as to how helpful it was."
And she didn't set out to have 50 friend dates on purpose. Instead, Aimun says she was having so much fun meeting people that it just kind of happened. "When I first started meeting people, it was to find my crowd, people who just got me. But every time I met someone off of Bumble BFF, I felt like I really clicked with them and wanted to see who else I could be friends with, so it really was an accidental landslide meeting 50 people off Bumble BFF."
Aimun says she was really surprised so many people were interested in her video, but also a little saddened. "It also made me realize how many of us don’t have a strong friendship or group of friends we can be around, which made me sad. In this day and age, we are so into our online presence that we forget how important actual human interaction is."
Her number one tip for anyone looking to make more friends? Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. "We are all there for the same reason, which is to meet people and make friends, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. You would be surprised at how many people you will find who have the same personality, viewpoints, lifestyle as you, so being fake will not get you that deep connection you are looking for."
"And never be afraid to say hey first. Sometimes the best interactions you can have are from you making the first move, so don’t hold yourself back because you are scared."
And surprisingly, Aimun says she didn't have any particularly bad experiences on her BFF journey, though some of the connections she made petered out quickly. "I wouldn’t say I’ve had any bad experiences, but the sad part is when you feel like you really clicked with someone and then you realize they are only there to get a follow on Instagram instead of making experiences and friendship."
Finally, she says, "I think anyone that is going on this journey of trying to find a good group of girls is super brave and, if anything, you will always come out with a good story or a new perspective."
