This Woman Shared That Her Kids Cost Her $53K In 2023, And We Need To Talk More About The Real Costs Of Parenthood

"Money is taboo, but it's such a big part of family planning and a huge reason why people decide to not have kids, or how many kids they're going to have — and when they're going to have them."

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Young adults are waiting longer to have kids or choosing to remain childless at a higher rate than the generations that came before us, and, surprising nobody, many say financial concerns are a big factor in their decision. In a recent Newsweek poll, more than half of respondents between the ages of 18 and 34 said they'd consider having kids if the cost of living went down. 

However, despite high prices on everything from homes to groceries, some young parents are finding ways to make it work. For example, meet 34-year-old mom of three Dana Cirrone (@livijayfam). 

Dana, who is based in South Carolina, is stirring up an important conversation online after sharing a TikTok breaking down exactly how much she and her husband spent on their kids in 2023. 

@livijayfam / Via tiktok.com

In the video, Dana explains why she's sharing her financials, saying, "Money is taboo, but it's such a big part of family planning and a huge reason why people decide to not have kids, or how many kids they're going to have, and when they're going to have them." 

She goes on to explain that she's sharing her family's spending for the sake of transparency and to help others get a better sense of what the actual costs of having kids might be. But she's careful to note that, "Money is not everything. You can raise happy, healthy children on far less or far more."

Dana goes on to share that she and her husband spent $53,000 on their kids last year. This sum includes about $18,000 for all of their extracurriculars for the year, $7,200 a year for preschool for the youngest, and $4,800 a year to add the kids to the family's health insurance plan. Additionally, she estimates that they spend an extra $1,000 a month on additional food and the expenses behind a bigger house and a bigger car since having kids. She also reveals that giving birth cost her about $4,000 each time after insurance.

Finally, she wraps up the video saying, "According to the Brookings Institute, it costs a middle-class family an average of $310,605 to raise a child from ages 0 to 18. That is $17,255 per year per child. My grand total for all three children in the year of 2023 was $53,000, which works out to be almost exactly what they estimated. So that's a serious life-changing, sacrificing commitment."

In the comments, other parents also chimed in to share what their spending looks like, including parents in high-cost-of-living areas facing even steeper preschool or daycare bills. 

@livijayfam / Via tiktok.com

While other parents chimed in to share ways they manage to spend a bit less on things like extracurriculars. 

@livijayfam / Via tiktok.com

And someone else tagged the girl with the list, a TikToker known for compiling a seemingly never-ending list of reasons not to have kids. 

@livijayfam / Via tiktok.com

Dana told BuzzFeed that she hopes her transparency helps start a bigger conversation about how much it costs to have kids in America and how parents are managing their expenses. She says, "As with everything in life, everybody has different bills, priorities, and needs. So while my costs may look different than someone else’s, at least it opens the door to normalizing such an important topic."

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She also says how she thinks about her finances has greatly changed since becoming a parent. "My children always come first. If we have extra money, it almost always goes toward them." Plus, she admits that she and her husband had to step up their budgeting after having kids because of the extra costs. "They are the reason we need family insurance coverage, a bigger home and car, a budget for extracurriculars, and the drive to save more. Everything changes after kids."

Finally, Dana acknowledges that we're living in some seriously expensive times, and dealing with rising prices can be tough on families. "We are all trying hard to give our kids the best life we can. At the end of the day, while money is important, love and security is the most important part of parenting. To any parents reading this, you’re doing an incredible job. Just keep showing up, be present, and love on your babies."

If you're a parent, how does your spending compare? Let's talk about it in the comments!