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    If You Dislike Musicals With A Burning Passion, Here Are 10 That May *Slightly* Change Your Mind

    Maybe give these a chance.

    I hate musicals. They make me angry. In almost every single case, musical films are syrupy sweet cheese affairs, discharging a sort of simultaneous blasphemy against sound and vision. The songs are made for infants – something to jangle to while you slap your mobile in the stupor of a post-feeding high. The depths of the lyrics don’t usually rise above the linguistic powers of street signs: follow the road; the parade is coming; time to get ready for the wedding. And the dancing! There’s never a good reason, it’s the cinematic equivalent of those poor sign-holders outside of cash-for-gold shops. Just jumping around to keep your attention on them! Yeah, sure, they got talent, I can’t dance like that, but why would I want to? I don’t need to go into a number celebrating my gig cleaning chimneys.

    The whole thing is like commercials selling candy to kids. Meaningless, seductive schmaltz meant to get you to think less and feel only superficially. For this reason, any reasonable society would do away altogether with the whole genre, to be used only in the most extreme cases of capital punishment. But there’s good reason to hold off on the ban (besides the 1st amendment, which because of musicals, I may need to revisit). See, every once in a while, cool musicals are made. Yes, it does happen. It’s almost always when the musical doesn’t use music like they use in musicals. Instead, they use good music. And instead of stories about lollipops and happy sailors, they use funny, weirdo, or awesome sick wild stories that drill into your brain and leave something behind you can actually use. So here’s a list of ten musicals you can watch without feeling the need to wield an ax in a shopping mall killing spree after you’re done. Enjoy.

    1. The Wiz (1978)

    Mabel King as Evillene the Wicked Witch of the West in the musical film The Wiz.

    2. Fantasia (1940)

    The demon Chernabog commanding dark forces from the Disney film Fantasia.

    3. The Blues Brothers (1980)

    Aretha Franklin singing with John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd in the Blues Brothers.

    4. Black Orpheus (1959)

    The character of Death emerging in the film Black Orpheus.

    5. The Boy Friend (1971)

    Fractal arrangement of synchronized dancers as seen from an overhead shot in the film The Boyfriend.

    6. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

    Close up of Tim Curry as Dr. Frank N. Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    7. Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)

    Animated marching hammers in the film Pink Floyd: The Wall.

    8. Rock 'n' Roll High School (1979)

    The Ramones playing in a hallway in the film Rock 'n' Roll High School.

    9. Hair (1979)

    woman with an afro filled with butterfly clips sings while in a forest

    10. Cry-Baby (1990)

    Johnny Depp shedding a tear in the film Cry-Baby.

    If you're someone who isn't a big fan of movie musicals, do you have any suggestions that kind of changed your mind about the genre? Feel free to drop them in the comments below!