Look, maybe talking about sex can be awkward at times, but getting one awkward question answered is so much better than having sex when you have no idea what you're doing.
Reddit user u/Imatatertott recently asked, "What’s something you didn’t know about sex before you had sex?" Here are a few responses:
1."How much angles matter, and how very different everyone’s preferences are. A turn-on for one is an absolute deal-breaker for another."
2."How actually funny and awkward it is at times. In movies, they always seem to be so serious! You bump noses, someone farts, you bite their earlobe too hard, or the cat jumps up next to you. Sex can often be really fun and funny, not the intense smolder 24/7."
3."People joke about missionary being bland and vanilla, but it's my favorite. You're all wrapped up and pressed together, and you're able to kiss, bite, and watch your partner react to what you're doing. The intimacy is really hot to me."
4."That having sex with someone you’re in love with versus someone casual are two very different things."
5."The first time I had sex, I came in like, seconds. To save myself the embarrassment, I thought that I could pretend that it didn't happen and go on since I was wearing a condom. She asked immediately, and I was like shit, she found out."
6."Honestly, until I lost my virginity, I always just assumed the stuff sort of just gets completely absorbed by the woman. It's not something I ever really thought about, but I didn't expect it to come back out, so the mess was definitely a shock."
7."That you get so nervous about having sex that you sometimes can’t stay hard. The first time, I thought it was going to be quick, and it ended up being just over an hour. It wasn’t her, it was just the moment was overwhelming, and not at all what I thought it would be."
8."Here's something I discovered recently, probably within the last year or so. Ladies (and gents) who spray tan or use a self-tanner like Bondi, be careful with where you put the semen! My ex-boyfriend and I realized that semen actually strips the tanner. He would usually get a towel, but sometimes I would just waddle to our bathroom and get cleaned up myself. We noticed, um, 'stripes' down part of my leg where it had run down on my way to the shower. We tested this out again, and sure enough, fresh semen will strip a fresh spray or self-tan."
9."The person definitely affects the experience. I used to hate eye contact, and I couldn’t look in their eyes for more than two seconds. But with my current boyfriend, when we just stare at each other, it’s 10x more intimate."
10."How simple it actually is when you stop thinking about what you 'should' do or 'need' to do. Just focus on who you're with and stop trying to anticipate what's going to happen."
11."All of the 'tips' I got from my guy friends about eating a girl out were pretty much ignorant tall tales from inexperienced noobs."
13."A dick actually can be too big, and if it's too big it can hurt, like, a lot. As a young woman, all you hear about is that you want to find a massive fucking dong (if you are into penises), but after having my cervix stabbed and dealing with days of pain afterward, I can comfortably say: FUCK ALL THAT. Sausage lovers, the best one is not the biggest, but the one that makes you feel good and loved."
14."That good sex is way more about the mental chemistry than the physical chemistry."
15."How close the vaginal opening actually is to the anus. I didn’t accidentally poke the butthole or anything, but I had to move much further down than I thought I’d have to, in order to find the hole."
16."If you aren't using a condom, you can't just roll over and cuddle or go to sleep like in the movies. Hell, you can't even just hop up and get dressed! There are so many fluids to clean up."
17."You should really pee and wash afterward because UTIs are hell on earth."
18."I had vague expectations of what a penis looked like with no real basis for those expectations so the first time I saw one in real life, I was absolutely shocked that there were balls attached underneath. I somehow made it 16 years picturing a penis as a singular thing jutting from a dude's lower abdomen and the sight of his balls splayed out beneath was jarring!"
21."How over time with my partner I don't care as much about her physical beauty. We have been together for more than a decade and obviously, our bodies are aging. It's just a nonissue. In my more shallow youth, I thought this would bother me, but I've matured enough to realize that love for her puts blinders on and I don't even care."
23."That it didn't matter. I grew up in a Catholic home, went to Catholic school, and learned that women can't like sex. It was supposed to be this, like, life-altering event. The angels were supposed to come down from the heavens and burden me with every STD known to man for having premarital sex. Then, I had sex. I had to struggle a lot with allowing myself to actually enjoy sex, because again, it was this awful thing that I wasn't allowed to enjoy. But unfortunately, no angels have graced me with their presence, I don't think any god is ready to smite me down for having sex, and it really wasn't as great as I was expecting. It was still great but the gatekeeping of it made it seem like it was going to be addictive."
24."You actually need a bit of core strength to perform!"
25."For all you young men out here: Porn is meant to LOOK good, not feel good. Jackhammering into a woman is usually not the best way to have sex. Ask questions, listen to your partner, take your time during foreplay and use lube. Do all that and you’ll have longer, more pleasurable sex."
