2."Doing something dangerous or reckless. You’re an adult! Please do not drive like a getaway driver or an F1 racer! I don’t want to die on the highway because you need to impress me with your driving skills! I’m not impressed — I’m terrified, angry, and (assuming I survive this) taking a Lyft home. This goes for whatever other dumb shit guys do that could result in loss of life or limb or catastrophic property damage."
4."Talking about their skills in bed. Those who are good at things don’t need to brag about them."
5."One-upping me. I sometimes do comedy, and if they find out, they tend to try to 'tell me this one you can use on stage,' and sweetheart, your recycled dad joke only gets a laugh when I'm telling my mates how sad you are."
6."I went on a first date with a university professor who brought out his positive end-of-term eval scores. Spent a good 15 or so minutes reading some of them to me and explaining that he got first or second highest in his department before asking me to rate him on his first-date skills. I was enjoying a good buzz and couldn’t help but find it amusing. We also got into how his dad never gave him validation growing up."
8."Working all the time or staying up all night for projects. I like sleep and balance."
9."Being 'funny.' A natural sense of humor is very attractive, but I've been on too many dates with guys who tried to awkwardly cram their tight five into casual conversation. You start to feel like a captive audience more than an active participant on the date, and the nonstop riffing bulldozes any chance at a genuine connection."
11."Trying to talk to you about something you're knowledgeable in and they are not, and this surface-level bullshit should be impressive they're explaining to you. This is completely different than trying to relate/convey. They don't ask you more because they want to know more; they often quiz you and patronize. Wow, you actually know something."
12."This mostly happened when I was younger, but locker room-type talk. I've been out with dudes that didn't know how to talk to a woman. I'm sure this sort of conversation would impress their dude-bro friends, but not a woman."
13."Any kind of uninvited intimate contact, like that time at the fitness park, I was throwing myself at the climbing wall on my seventh circuit, and out of nowhere, I felt hands on my ass helping me over the wall, and he actually had the balls to walk around the wall to offer to train me."
15."Being an 'expert' on anything and everything, while simultaneously never admitting they don't know something. Just admit when you don't know something! I won't think less of you! Quite the contrary."
16."Talking about fights you've gotten in. I once went on a date with a guy who brought up fights he had gotten in in the past at least five separate times. I felt like I was on a date with a high schooler, but he was mid-20s."
18."Trying to low-key assert how wealthy they are. I went on a date with this guy one time who kept hinting at things he could afford and kept mentioning how lucky he was to have such a good salary. On top of that, he didn’t ask me anything about myself. It just felt icky, to be honest. I want to form a genuine connection, dude."
19."Body counts for how many women they've slept with."
21."Talking about their 'very sophisticated' wine/liquor/beer/food standards, or any monologue that paints them as the arbiter of good taste or worthwhile interests/hobbies. Also, treating other people's otherwise wholesome interests as stupid or basic or something."
What's a flirting move that totally backfired on you? Tell me about it in the comments.