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14 More Reasons I Love Rose Marie Velarde

Valentine’s Day is today and here are fourteen reasons why I love my girlfriend Rosie Velarde. It’s February 14th….fourteen….get it!! :)

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And the list...

1. She comes in a variety of “flavors.” And by flavors you know I mean scents. My most favorite being 2nd day period pools and least favorite being “left tampon in poos for almost a week” poos.

2. She allows me to live a double life…AKA.. she falls asleep really early (BERNADETTE) and I watch all of my shows then. The only problem with that is it takes us sometimes weeks to finish one movie.

3. We are so NOT artistic that we couldn’t even combine our favorite thing (sex) with art. It has been one year since Rosie bought me a sex art kit and it still is at the bottom of our closet. We have sex everyday…..

4. I know she would take care of me no matter what I had…even Randall from “This is Us” shaky disease..

5. She is a dirty girl who eats poop… am i kidding??? maybe, maybe not??!?!?

6. She has the most amazing friends in the world…"who Vaness?"

7. Sometimes she has a poltergeist demon swirling around in her head and her eyes roll back, but not to worry, its just her molly face.

8. I have pulled more things out of her than a surgeon.

9. She is the worst girl on planet earth. I never thought I would legitimately have to remember when tampons were put in or not, deodorant was worn, or when hair was last washed.

10. She is going to be an amazing mother. That is if she can wait until she has ours and not go to jail for creepily staring at one then stealing it.

11. She is the most amazing person at organizing dates, surprises and such. Our first date that she wanted to organize, the one with pressure and significance, we ended up driving out somewhere to be turned away and ended back up at home on the couch. :)

12. She is the only person to go to a wine tasting and end up almost starting a brawl with gay dudes and their girlfriends.

13. She’s really good at looking into the camera at photo booths. She even sometimes gets caught pointing towards the wrong camera while the picture is being taken… i have the strips to prove it. “No Rose that is not where you look, stop pointing, and look at where it tells you to”

14. All of these quirks are just some of the many reasons I love Rose Marie Velarde! It has been another beautiful year in our little life together. We have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. I love you so much Rose.

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