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Which Matthew Conacher Are You?

These past few months have been tough! Find out which version of your favourite lil man you are!

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  1. Your hair is getting VERY long. Your mother texts you "please cut your hair". Which style do you decide to pursue?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    clean, fun, fresh, vegan, organic chic
    clean, fun, fresh, vegan, organic chic
    Correct
    Incorrect
    messy cute "updo"
    messy cute "updo"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    clean shaven
    clean shaven
    Correct
    Incorrect
    line up w fade
    line up w fade
    Correct
    Incorrect
    afro
    afro
  2. You check your bank account to find an outstanding balance on your credit card of $1132. Your credit limit is $1000. What do you do?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    order dominos pizza and use the remaining $23.71 you have in your debit account
    order dominos pizza and use the remaining $23.71 you have in your debit account
    Correct
    Incorrect
    go over to a friends house and eat all their food and drink their green juices
    go over to a friends house and eat all their food and drink their green juices
    Correct
    Incorrect
    funnel money from the US government and pretend you know what finance is
    funnel money from the US government and pretend you know what finance is
    Correct
    Incorrect
    cut up your credit card and throw the chunks into the lake because money is a social construct and global warming is not a real thing
    cut up your credit card and throw the chunks into the lake because money is a social construct and global warming is not a real thing
    Correct
    Incorrect
    ask Jessica to buy you a bagel even though you have free bagels for a year from the Spoke
    ask Jessica to buy you a bagel even though you have free bagels for a year from the Spoke
  3. You somehow landed a Skype interview for a "finance internship" position with the most iconic consumer packaged goods company in the world. You know nothing about finance and during the interview you are asked to calculate Return on Investment (ROI) for a

    Correct
    Incorrect
    start crying and ask if you can phone a friend
    start crying and ask if you can phone a friend
    Correct
    Incorrect
    begin making static sounds with your mouth and start shaking your laptop so the interviewer thinks their internet connection is bad
    begin making static sounds with your mouth and start shaking your laptop so the interviewer thinks their internet connection is bad
    Correct
    Incorrect
    exclaim that numbers are a social construct and that ice cream shouldn't exist (I mean humans are the only mammals that consume another mammals milk recreationally.....)
    exclaim that numbers are a social construct and that ice cream shouldn't exist (I mean humans are the only mammals that consume another mammals milk recreationally.....)
    Correct
    Incorrect
    totally avoid the question and open a conversation about consumer culture and how different things are in Japan vs North America
    totally avoid the question and open a conversation about consumer culture and how different things are in Japan vs North America
    Correct
    Incorrect
    say "this is a perplexing problem but I would definitely go ahead with the promotion given the strong ROI of 43% and a payback of just under one year"
    say "this is a perplexing problem but I would definitely go ahead with the promotion given the strong ROI of 43% and a payback of just under one year"
  4. It is Friday at 7:00pm and you have survived a week of note taking for the deaf, fifteen hours of class, two shifts at Shoppers Drug Mart, and like twenty hours of extra-curricular involvement. What are you Friday night plans?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    taking a trip to the @ceeps even though you hate waiting in line for three hours
    taking a trip to the @ceeps even though you hate waiting in line for three hours
    Correct
    Incorrect
    ruining your uber rating
    ruining your uber rating
    Correct
    Incorrect
    "I'm only going to the pre so like I'll be home by eleven"
    "I'm only going to the pre so like I'll be home by eleven"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    celebrate not dying by taking yourself out to dinner in downtown London, ON
    celebrate not dying by taking yourself out to dinner in downtown London, ON
    Correct
    Incorrect
    stay in and write 400 comedy writing pieces about why dogs would make great politicians and why the social construction of gender is important in children's television programming
    stay in and write 400 comedy writing pieces about why dogs would make great politicians and why the social construction of gender is important in children's television programming
  5. What if your favourite Matthew Conacher Extra-Curricular Involvement?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    teaching grade 12 students about the plethora of jobs people in MIT pursue after graduation
    teaching grade 12 students about the plethora of jobs people in MIT pursue after graduation
    Correct
    Incorrect
    pretending to know what a statement of cash flows is on FIMSSC
    pretending to know what a statement of cash flows is on FIMSSC
    Correct
    Incorrect
    counting Adderall
    counting Adderall
    Correct
    Incorrect
    being an entrepreneur
    being an entrepreneur
    Correct
    Incorrect
    getting paid to take notes on pro-social and anti-social psychology
    getting paid to take notes on pro-social and anti-social psychology
  6. You realize you only own 2 pairs of pants. What do you do?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    hit up Banana Republic and buy the longest pair of pants you can
    hit up Banana Republic and buy the longest pair of pants you can
    Correct
    Incorrect
    try to distract people from noticing that you wear the same pants everyday by wearing ugly shirts and sweaters to draw attention upwards
    try to distract people from noticing that you wear the same pants everyday by wearing ugly shirts and sweaters to draw attention upwards
    Correct
    Incorrect
    pillage "summer wardrobe" bin and bring back the short shorts
    pillage "summer wardrobe" bin and bring back the short shorts
    Correct
    Incorrect
    make your mom buy you an $1100 suit so you can add the suit pants to your pant repertoire
    make your mom buy you an $1100 suit so you can add the suit pants to your pant repertoire
    Correct
    Incorrect
    cry in public
    cry in public
  7. You forgot to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You need to eat something. What do you reach for?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    something vegan
    something vegan
    Correct
    Incorrect
    avocado toast
    avocado toast
    Correct
    Incorrect
    something ethnic
    something ethnic
    Correct
    Incorrect
    caramel macchiato w oat bar
    caramel macchiato w oat bar
    Correct
    Incorrect
    'za
    'za
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