1. So the scene starts with the Trunchbull calling an immediate assembly of the entire student body so she can humiliate a chubby boy named Bruce.
2. And, of course, Bruce is like, “Um, I have literally no idea what’s going on right now.”
3. “But I guess I’ll get up and put up with your shit.”
4. And he gets on stage and the Trunchbull is just seething with anger for some reason…
5. …shaking her little leather strap thing at his chubby face.
6. And then she demands that Bruce confess to stealing a piece of her delicious chocolate cake from the school kitchen.
7. And what does Bruce do?… He tells her, “Yeah, I did it. And it wasn’t even as good as my mom’s.”
8. And everyone is like, “BRUCE?! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?! THAT’S LITERALLY THE LAST THING SOMEONE IN YOUR SITUATION SHOULD HAVE SAID.”
9. And then things start getting super intense when the Trunchbull brings out this golden platter…
10. And opens it to reveal this giant, glistening, delicious, moist piece of chocolate heaven.
11. And then she whips out THIS GIANT KNIFE.
12. And everyone is like, “OH. MY. GOD. Bruce is so dead. We’re gonna see Bruce get killed right now, that’s what’s gonna happen.”
13. And the Trunchbull is like, guess what, Bruce, you’re gonna eat this entire piece of cake.
14. And Bruce is like, Oh God, I don’t really want to, to be honest. But she insists.
15. And then shit gets real tense ‘cause Bruce is like, Well, I mean, is this cake poisoned?
16. But he eats it anyway and it’s fine and good.
17. And like, he really gets into this cake, too. Like, he makes this piece of cake his bitch.
18. But when he’s finished, the Trunchbull brings out her evil chef, Cookie, with the REST OF THE ENTIRE CHOCOLATE CAKE.
19. And of course Cookie is just a disgusting mess of an old woman. She probably got all kinds of nasty old woman juices in the cake.
20. And the Trunchbull is like, “EAT IT.”
21. And so Bruce, against his own will and the limits of human capacity, is forced to feed on an entire thick, moist chocolate cake.
22. And the entire assembly has to just sit there and watch him while he descends into cake oblivion.
23. And it’s just all horribly intense because Bruce looks like he’s gonna frickin’ explode.
24. I mean, this kid’s big, but one kid can only eat so much. So, of course, it looks like he’s about to give up.
25. But, in perhaps the greatest moment ever in the history of movies, the assembly starts CHEERING FOR BRUCE.
26. BRUCE. BRUCE. BRUCE. BRUCE.
27. And the Trunchbull is like SHUT UP YOU PISSWORMS.
28. But Bruce is ALIVE.
29. HE RALLIES.
30. HE SHOVES A CHUNK OF CAKE RIGHT INTO HIS FACE HOLE.
31. HE FEEDS ON THE LAST CHUNKS OF CHOCOLATEY FUDGE.
32. HE LICKS THE PLATE CLEAN.
33. HE IS TRIUMPHANT.
34. But then the Trunchbull violently smashes the glass cake plate over Bruce’s head, leaving the children in an intense silence.
35. And Bruce lets out the most intense burp of all time, rippling through the silence.
36. And then the Trunchbull, defeated and ashamed, takes Bruce away to God only knows where.
37. And we are left STUNNED…. stunned by the Trunchbull’s cruelty, by the assembly’s courage, by Bruce’s tenacity, and by the utter intensity of EVERYTHING we’ve just witnessed…
38. Because this scene is the most intense cinematic moment in HISTORY.
- Two brothers suspected of planning terror attacks have been arrested in Belgium, prosecutors say.