Assert your position as the center of the universe.
Never let societal norms dictate your drinking habits.
Appreciate your assets.
Manage your time wisely.
Always see the bright side.
Recognize that you are always, unquestionably, the center of everybody's attention.
Be a glamorous, generous, giving person.
Always take time to do what makes you happy.
It's always fun to stir up trouble.
Always come prepared with a suggestive compliment.
Never be shy about your one true love.
Nothing works better than a well-delivered bitter insult.
Recognize and assert your own irrefutable social domination.
Make sure your enemies know they're your enemies.
Your opinions are always right. Always.
Never hesitate to impose your will on others. You are, after all, the only thing that matters.
Be painfully honest, no matter the cost.
If words escape you, animalistic noises always do the trick.
Honor the people that matter most.
...and forget about the people that don't.
Weakness is never, ever an option.
And always, ALWAYS remember: You. Are. Fabulous.