7 Tips To Help Single Moms Survive Daily

Life is unpredictable. Who would have thought that your Prince Charming would turn out to be a frog after you kissed him? In fairy tales, it is the other way around. You kiss the frog and it transforms into a handsome Prince! But life is not a fairy tale and we don’t live in Disneyland. So you woke up from the dream and realized that you are left to raise your kids alone. Suddenly, your life turned upside down. As a single mom, life can be very challenging. And you will need a pack full of arsenal to help you survive your day to day challenges. Below is a list of things that can help you face the most challenging problems of being a solo mom.

1. Find your tribe.

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Single moms need a tribe. Yes, we are all supermoms, juggling work, household chores, parenting stuff and all, but sometimes it just gets too overwhelming! Not everyone in your family or majority of your friends really understands how it is to be managing your household alone and disciplining your children all by yourself.

We can’t be supermoms all the time. There will be instances when we do need other single parents for advice or other people for help. That is why every single mom needs a tribe, a group of people that she can call on immediately for help.

But sometimes people can be so judgemental, so I realized that if I were to create my tribe, it would be with single moms like me. I mean who would understand a single mom’s situation better than a fellow single mom, right?

I had an experience recently with a co-parent in my daughter’s school that I felt I was discriminated at some point, and it sort of opened my mind about so many things. That included an affirmation to this: that you would only truly understand somebody else’s situation if you have experienced it first-hand.

2. Cry if you feel like crying. No shame in that.

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Let it all out. There’s nothing more satisfying than throwing all those pent-up emotions to the wind. As a single mom, we always, always strive to be the strong woman that we are supposed to be. We start to think like a man and be tough. It may be a defense mechanism sort of like hiding our vulnerabilities.

But then, let’s face it, we are still women. When the going gets tough, cry it all out. Crying doesn’t make you weak. Heck, we even cry for no reason at all!

So, allow yourself the luxury of crying your heart out. Just make sure your kids are not with you when you start bawling.

3. Don’t forget your “Me” time and do it regularly. Without guilt.

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We all deserve some “me” time, whether it’s having your nails done, or just simply shutting out the rest of the world and reading a good book. If you can afford a little bit of luxury, go pamper yourself. I like to have my “me” time eating at a restaurant or sometimes going for a massage does it right. We might be supermoms but supermoms need their downtime too.

But, there are moments when I can’t help but feel guilty. And it is where I struggle the most. Not having to feel guilty about having a “me” time is difficult. When you’re a mom, you think that it is selfish if you do things without your children. On the contrary, you need time to take care of yourself. Taking care of your self is loving yourself. You must love yourself in order to give love.

If you really can’t help feeling guilty, then think of it as recharging your batteries. You’ll feel better after doing something you like. Believe me.

4. Be Positive.

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It may sound cliché, but this still rings true all the time. Life is too short to live with negativity all around. Learn to change your mindset. Instead of looking at the wrong side of things, make something positive out of it.

Being a single mom is negative to most people because, at some point, they tend to look at you as if you were the one who has the problem. Some would think that just because you are a single mom, you made the biggest mistake of not fighting to have your family whole.

You don’t need other people to tell you how you should run your family. They don’t know a thing about your life, so they do not have the right to judge you negatively. I see my being a single mom as the most positive thing I ever did in my life. This became the best decision I ever made because I cannot imagine my life living with someone who doesn’t respect me as a wife or as a partner.

As a single mom, I am free to do anything I want to do with my time, my children and my life in general.

5. Find a job that you could work on around your family’s schedule.

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This means you have to change career if you have to. Lucky for us nowadays, working remotely or working from home is now acceptable. As a virtual assistant and a freelance writer, I am lucky to be working from home and be accessible to my kids. But it wasn’t always like this. I used to work in the corporate world. I would feel bad when I have to miss my kid’s school activities.

So I tried to find ways on how I can do both working and looking after my kids. I applied for online jobs and working from home is one of the best decisions I made when it comes to my career.

6. Set your dating rules

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This is probably not the most important thing for you if you’re not ready to go out dating yet. But friendly dates are welcome. You just need to define what type of relationship are you willing to enter into, as long as you feel ready for it. As an adult—there are so many things we can try before going into a deep relationship with someone.

You will need a male presence in your life at some point. Not specifically to be physically present, but for some other reasons.

7. Be kind to yourself.

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Lastly, be kind to yourself. You don’t have to compete with anybody else when it comes to parenting. More importantly, you don’t have to compete with yourself. Simplify your life. Avoid taking in too many stressful activities that won’t help you or your kids.

As a single mom, we tend to be super competitive. Maybe because we want to prove to ourselves that we can do it all. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. Being a single mom, raising your kids alone and doing things beyond your limit is enough. Start being kind to yourself and relax a bit. You owe it to yourself to be kind and understanding of your situation.