1. It can be very, very hard
Nobody said it was going to be easy, that's for sure. There are days when all I want is a 3-hour nap and some quiet. But being a mother whose doing this on my own, that's very close to impossible. Everything I do really depends on my toddler. I nap when he naps. Help from my family is appreciated so much, because having time to myself is important so that I don't go stir-crazy from watching the Sprout channel all day. Speaking of that...
2. Once in a while I take some time out for myself, and I'm not selfish for that.
For example, I just recently took a weekend trip to Austin, TX while my father watched my son for me. That was a big deal for me. On a smaller-scale, just having an hour or 2 to myself while a family member watches my toddler can seriously turn my day around. Everyone, including full-time mothers, needs time to themselves in order to energize your mind and clear your head. Whether you spend that time sleeping, going out for a meal, shopping, reading, meditating, whatever it is that charges you up - everyone needs that sometimes. And there's nothing wrong with that.
3. I don't need your advice, unless I ask for it.
Some people feel the need to give me advice on how to handle or raise my toddler. This mostly happens to me whenever I'm out in public with him. Some people don't even give advice, they flat out just tell me what they think about the way I handle certain situations. For example, when I go out to eat with my toddler, he loves to run around and explore the facility before the food arrives, and if I don't allow him to he'll straight up scream in the high-chair. Now I know that by allowing him to do this I'm giving in to what he wants. But am I supposed to just let him scream the whole time? So while he's exploring (I either watch or follow him while he does this) some people give me looks. A woman has even said to me "You just allow him to do whatever he wants? He needs to sit at the table with you. This is a restaurant, not a playground".. I just politely smiled and said I was sorry. But in my head I thought, either this woman has never raised an energetic 2-year old or her child was just extremely perfect. Either way, nobody has the right to criticize the way a parent is, well, parenting unless the child is in danger or a parent asks for your opinion. This is of course just my opinion though.
4. Sometimes I wonder if his life would be better with a father, and sometimes I don't think about it at all.
I will admit, I sometimes get jealous when I see a young family with a father doing his part. I wonder, "am I doing a good enough job on my own? Is he really missing out?".. but then at other times it doesn't even cross my mind. I mean, he's happy, healthy, has everything he needs and then some. But he is at the age right now where he doesn't know that he doesn't have a father raising him when other children do. Will I find someone by the time he reaches that age? Maybe. But for now all I can do is be the best mommy I can be.
5. I'm not always as calm and collected as I like to appear.
Sometimes my toddler makes me want to pull my hair out. His temper tantrums can be very rough on my psyche. I would love to be able to say that I know how to keep my cool, but that's not always the case. Sometimes I just want to run away and hide. But I can't. So most of the time I just need to take deep, long breaths and let the tantrum ride out.
6. I don't always dress like "a mom"..
I've been told this by people. They say "you don't look like a mom". What that is supposed to mean, I don't quite know. Is it an insult? Is it a compliment? Who knows. All I know is that I like to dress up quirky and different sometimes. I love fashion. Just because I have a child does not mean I need to dress super-conservative and stop dying my hair or wearing piercings. I'm still a human being with my own taste. That's something no one should have to trade in when they become a parent in my opinion.
7. I still get to go out and do fun things.
Except now, I do fun things that my toddler can enjoy with me. I still go to the mall, out to eat, go to the city, etc. I was never much of a party girl anyway, so I don't really feel like I'm missing out too much on "being young", which is what a lot of young people think happens when you become a parent. You just need to learn how to go out and do new things that are kid appropriate, but still fun for you. Seeing my son having a good time always makes me feel good anyways.
8. I still date
Some people may think that once you have a kid, if you're single, your love-life comes to a stop. But in my experience, that's not true. People still like me, find me attractive, etc. And if a person is worth dating, they don't mind that you have a child anyways. Whether or not I decide to introduce this person into my son's life depends on the individual and how long we've been seeing one another because I don't want my son to get too attached to someone who might not be sticking around.
9. No, I don't wish that my "baby daddy" was a part of my child's life.
The reason for this is because he was an unhealthy person. In his sickest moments he even pushed me to the ground while I was pregnant. But the biggest reason I don't want him to be in my child's life is because he has made no effort whatsoever to be in my child's life himself. One of my biggest fears is actually him trying to stroll into my son's life later on. You know, after all the hard parts, like RAISING him are pretty much over.
10. Being a mother and raising my child is one of the most fullfilling things I've ever accomplished.
Having not yet completed college, being a mom and raising a healthy, happy, brilliant little boy is one of the most fullfilling things I've ever accomplished, and continue to do. It gets frustrating, and sometimes I do wonder what my life would Be like right now if I hadn't had a child. But all in all, seeing a smile on that little boy's face, and hearing his laugh is the greatest treasure of all.
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