"I raised my voice at her and she was like, 'I don't like it when you raise your voice. Why did you raise your voice?' And I got so defensive," he said.
"I was like, 'I wasn't raising my voice at you!' And I did raise my voice at her. And then I felt her shrink and I felt me grow, and I was like, Oh god, this is the worst," he continued.
"I'm so terrified of being evil. I'm so scared to be bad," Shawn explained. "I don't want to be bad."
Shawn said he and Camila got into "a massive conversation" about what went down after the fact.
"Maybe there even is bad inside of me, and I have to just accept that that exists," he said. "And that other part of me, he's just got to be here, and we've just got to work together until eventually he gets worked in all of the trauma, and all of the kinks get rubbed out of him and he's okay."
Shawn acknowledged, "But I can't avoid the fact that there's a little bit of darkness inside of me, and letting that darkness kind of be present is a horrible feeling."
He also said that he made his reaction to the argument "about my evil and my fear, and she comforted me. And then it took me like 20 minutes of us separately reading our books to be able to come back to her and be like, 'God, that was a whole thing and I'm really sorry.'"
He added, "You think you're being vulnerable and saying the right thing, but you're really just defending yourself even better."
Sounds like Shawn is really working on himself and becoming more self-aware. Good for him!