Good News ?
I am sure a lot you would have been on the receiving end of this question. Every social gathering is an excuse to send not so subtle messages to people who are at “the right age” and try as you might, there is no escape.
Wide eyes full of wonder, a seriously wobbly head and the sweetest gurgle that makes the heart melt. As it may be painfully clear, I love babies, in an almost crazy way that borders on obsession. Having children seems the natural thing to do.. or does it ?
Aside from the obvious cuteness factor, what is it about having children that is so appealing or necessary? Let’s look at it logically, shall we? We engage in an activity as long as it is enjoyable. The moment it starts getting difficult or inconvenient, we try to wiggle out of it. Then, how is it, that children have this power over us that makes us defy this usual behaviour and stretch our tolerance?
It is easy to understand why children need parents. Parents are dependable, helpful, unconditionally loving and supportive to an unbelievable extent but what do they get out of this arrangement? Sleepless nights, lighter pockets, no alone time… the list is endless.
And as children grow up, the story may get less physically tiring but emotionally ? not so much. Parents need to tolerate teenage tantrums, irrational decisions, and unrealistic demands or be at the receiving end of smart mouths that reek of rebellion. Sure there is that love thing somewhere underneath but is it really worth going through all the trouble ?
As they get older and college progresses, pockets become lighter while the children become more distant, seeing the parents once a year yet demanding everything from them. As they start working, they suddenly start to see the value of parents and realise their failings as children and try to undo the damage but work will always get in the way. So you, the parent are left with the occasional phone call and visits full of nostalgia.
Answer me this, if you have to wait years for them to reciprocate the love that you have been yearning for, why not avoid the painful parts and associate with adults who appreciate your value right from the start ?
The “parental” answer to this question is painfully consistent – “You won’t understand until you have children of your own”. But I want to understand now, so I can make an informed decision! Since no one can help me, I am left with no choice but to make a list on my own
1.You want to carry on your legacy and watch a part of you grow up?
2.You want someone to help you in times of need?
3.You want to give yourself a new challenge?
4.You want a purpose in life?
5.It’s just the natural course of life?
6.You want to contribute to the continuity of the human race?
I could have gone on but as I write these, there are an equal number of rebuttals in my head. My favourite one though is the “all species are put on earth to pro-create”. As if the human race is following what they were meant to do. They couldn’t be farther from it.
Don’t get me wrong, for those of you who have that natural urge that claws at your uterus, congratulations ! But the balance, who would rather dedicate their lives to other things or the pragmatists who just want to know why before taking a decision should be able to do so without the judgemental and not so subtle “what’s wrong with you?”.
As the famous Ricky Gervais once said, “the more logical question is why do you want to have children, as opposed to why don’t you want them”.
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