Skip To Content

    7 Brutal Literary Breakup Texts

    Sorry babe, I gotta Ishbail.

    1. Ron and Hermione

    Warner Bros. / Via itwasjustapromise.tumblr.com
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    2. Romeo and Juliet

    Bazmark Films / Via if-youcantsleep.tumblr.com
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    3. Cleopatra and Mark Antony

    HBO / Via morevna.co.vu
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    4. Arwen and Aragorn

    New Line Cinema / Via wrathandruin.tumblr.com
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    5. Sir Lancelot and Elaine

    NC Wyeth / Charles Scribner's Sons / Via en.wikipedia.org
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    6. Zelda Fitzgerald and F. Scott Fitzgerald

    Mediapro / Via magdalenapyzio.tumblr.com
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    7. Jack Kerouac and any woman ever

    Future Film / Via takeustoglory.tumblr.com
    Mallory Ortberg for BuzzFeed / Keely Flaherty

    For more texts from your favorite literary characters, check out Mallory Ortberg's Texts From Jane Eyre, available now.

    Henry Holt Publishing