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5 Step Guide To Connecting With Your Crush On Valentine's Day!!!

If you're lonely on Valentine's Day, here's a last minute fix to find romance with your crush!

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For this love connection you'll need:

-At least 2 strands of 9.5-9.9 mm climbing rope

-Industrial grade duct tape (I like Uline)

-A sturdy chair

-An abandoned warehouse

-A dangling lightbulb (optional, but really sets the mood)

-1 chloroform soaked rag

-Your crush

Step 1: Find your crush

If you're looking at this post, you probably have someone in mind, and likely know where they are at any given moment of the day!
Simplemost / Via simplemost.com

If you're looking at this post, you probably have someone in mind, and likely know where they are at any given moment of the day!

Step 2: Flirt

Once you locate your crush, with a soft smile and seductive gaze, take your chloroform rag and gently smother it over their mouth. They'll melt right into your arms!
Brand New Images / Getty Images / Via img-s3.onedio.com

Once you locate your crush, with a soft smile and seductive gaze, take your chloroform rag and gently smother it over their mouth. They'll melt right into your arms!

Step 3: Bring them to your romantic locale

Now for some muscle! Drag your crush's body over to the abandoned warehouse and sit them in that sturdy chair. Tie them up with the climbing rope--let this be a gentle caress. Place the duck tape over their mouth, try to resist sneaking a kiss in!
CPIDNYC / Via cpidnyc.com

Now for some muscle! Drag your crush's body over to the abandoned warehouse and sit them in that sturdy chair. Tie them up with the climbing rope--let this be a gentle caress. Place the duck tape over their mouth, try to resist sneaking a kiss in!

Step 4: Wait until your crush regains consciousness

Be patient! This is a good time to flick on the lightbulb and perhaps add other personal touches like broken glass or signs of struggle. Your crush will be knocked out for a good 20-30 minutes, so when they come to be prepared to act like you just found them like this.
Chobirdokan / Via cdn.chobirdokan.com

Be patient! This is a good time to flick on the lightbulb and perhaps add other personal touches like broken glass or signs of struggle. Your crush will be knocked out for a good 20-30 minutes, so when they come to be prepared to act like you just found them like this.

Step 5: Fall in love

Your crush will be very disoriented when they regain consciousness, but rip the tape off their mouth and say, "Thank goodness I found you!" They might ask, "why am I tied up in this chair?" And to that, all you have to do is shush them and let your love story begin.
It's Conceivable / Via itsconceivablenow.com

Your crush will be very disoriented when they regain consciousness, but rip the tape off their mouth and say, "Thank goodness I found you!" They might ask, "why am I tied up in this chair?" And to that, all you have to do is shush them and let your love story begin.

Tips:

-Some might say that this list resembles instructions for kidnapping, but don't listen. Love conquers all!-Don't let anyone see you do this--it ruins the intimacy.-Make sure you keep extra chloroform on hand in case your crush gets a little frisky.-Plan a fun date for after you untie them, maybe ice skating?-DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET THEM GO TO THE POLICE.-Most importantly, have fun and be yourself!
Jack Hollingsworth / Getty Images / Via goodtherapy.org

-Some might say that this list resembles instructions for kidnapping, but don't listen. Love conquers all!

-Don't let anyone see you do this--it ruins the intimacy.

-Make sure you keep extra chloroform on hand in case your crush gets a little frisky.

-Plan a fun date for after you untie them, maybe ice skating?

-DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET THEM GO TO THE POLICE.

-Most importantly, have fun and be yourself!

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