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1. An Instant Pot you can basically replace your entire kitchen with, kitchens are so 2017.
2. A key hook with an ode to your old self. It'll make finding your keys so easy you'll never be late again.
3. A meal prep cookbook to help ease the cholesterol levels you built up from stress-eating through all of 2017.
4. And a set of 16 incredibly useful meal prep containers that may help you actually eat said meals.
5. A mini emergency kit prepared for the dreaded surprise period, losing the back of an earring, a not-so-subtle armpit smell, and just about anything else you can MacGyver your way out of with a hairpin.
6. A portable unicorn charger that'll save your iPhone from the certain death it already experienced in every over-photographed concert you were at last year.
7. A luxurious cotton bed set designed so you never have to tuck in your sheets (or frantically make your bed when someone knocks on the door of your studio apartment) ever again.
8. A pair of blackout panel curtains for when your weekend plans do not include waking up in the daytime.
9. A nail polish holder that may make painting your nails easy enough that you won't keep acting like "chipped" is the new black.
10. A memory foam pillow so you can take care of your neck and break up with your chiropractor.
11. A set of rainbow nesting bowls for making storage (and baking) a breeze.
12. A geode jewelry box that'll be a spacious place to store hair ties, bobby pins, loose change, and the one actually valuable necklace your grandmother gave you when you turned 18.
13. A set of critter sheet masks to wake up your makeup routine.
14. A set of five kitchen knives that just may work slightly better than the butterknife you've been "getting by" with all year long.
15. A Tasty One Top to make following a recipe on your phone easier than following through on the dinner plans you made with your Tinder date (whatever you cook will taste better than the $13 avocado toast he was raving about anyway).
16. A book on planting indoors, because this is the year your home will finally be filled with lush, living, green plants.
17. Or maybe a faux potted palm. Being responsible for a life other than yours sounds like a 2019 sort of thing.
18. A powerstrip to organize the cords in your home in a beary cute way.
19. A glitter cocktail shaker you just may use every time you celebrate how responsible the new you is (ignoring the fact that this very cocktail shaker may likely be the reason you're sleeping beside the toilet that night).
20. And a cocktail book with drinks based on famous literature so you can whip up something respectable.
21. And while we're at it, an Italian crafted decanter and set of six glasses for these celebratory, literary beverage events.
22. A lamp light bookmark — it's gonna be the brightest way to keep you reading this year.
23. A clear State tote bag you won't ever lose anything in, even when you carry everything you own in it.
24. A rack riser with pocket shelves that'll finally give you the added counter space your roommate still thinks you don't need.
25. A robot vacuum/mop for anyone who thought cleaning the floors was just a suggestion last year.
26. A set of clear, airtight containers that are gonna help you see the light (and the Chips Ahoy) while organizing your kitchen.
27. A carry-on suitcase made to let you easily escape from reality whenever a vacation is calling.
28. A pack of four chip clips for keeping your food fresh and cutting your grocery bill in half from what it was last year (at least where potato chips are concerned).
29. Or a pack of three bag ties, so your bread won't be toast.
30. A set of six thin wooden hangers with grips that'll keep your clothes from falling off the hanger (which'll improve the floor pile "system" you've currently got going on).
31. A portable steamer for keeping your freshly hung clothing wrinkle-free.
32. A light projector that may help you get the best sleep you've had in a year.
33. Or a white noise maker that's gonna be so much better than sleeping with your fan on all year long.
34. A double hamper to keep your clothing separated by color (not that everyone hasn't loved all the pink dress shirts you've been wearing to the office, because they are loved).
35. A motivational water bottle for your thirsty self.
36. An Angry Mama microwave cleaner so you can eat the food cooked in your microwave without worrying about what other meal's messes may be mixed in.
37. A set of dandruff shampoo and conditioner to soothe your itchy scalp all year long.
38. And a Wet Brush that's gonna help the hair you just washed be silkier and smoother than you've ever seen it.
39. Finally, a Nifty journal sure to change your life in the new year, one clever organizational trick at a time.
That moment when you realize you've got your life back on track.
