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    I Am Convinced That Peter Dutton Is Actually Peter Pettigrew

    Everyone is saying Mr Dutton looks like Voldy but I'm here to show you the truth.

    So all I've heard about in the past two days is Peter Dutton, whom I have a rather strong dislike for. He is a real pain in the back, but that is beside the point. Instead, the point of this article is to expose Dutton. Get ready for it, I'm about to drop a bombshell...

    PETER DUTTON IS PETER PETTIGREW!

    You're welcome.

    Thanks for listening :)