The Definitive Ranking Of Soups

Not all soup is created equal.

24. Lentil Soup

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There is some weird underlying sadness in lentil soup.

23. Egg Drop Soup

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Sorry, but those egg shreds will just always be a little unsettling.

22. Split Pea Soup

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Split pea texture is what I imagine eating chalk would be like, if the chalk was pea-flavored. Plus it’s hard to eat without thinking about The Exorcist.

21. Manhattan Clam Chowder

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You think hot tomato clams make you so metropolitan, don’t you? Sorry, but you’ll never be as cool as New England clam chowder.

20. Chicken Noodle Soup

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This soup is great in theory, but it’s almost never executed well. Soggy noodles and sad chicken bits, crying together in a bowl.

19. Broccoli Cheddar Soup

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When done well, this soup can be amazing. When done poorly, it’s an ungodly mouth punishment.

18. Gumbo

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Gumbo gets points for spiciness, but there’s a lot going on. It can be a little intimidating.

17. Bean Soup

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Mad love for dem beans (white beans, black beans, navy beans, love them all), but it must be said: Soups just don’t let ‘em shine.

16. Minestrone

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Minestrone is the go-to vegetarian soup, but it can go bad so easily. Urgh, so many overcooked vegetables.

15. Miso Soup

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Miso serves its purpose (getting your body ready for the inappropriate amount of sushi you’re about to digest) but — real talk — it’s pretty bland and lame in the grand scheme of soups.

14. Chili

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Chili is like a thick, spicy bowl of the American dream. And the American dream will make you feel kind of pukey if you eat too much.

13. Matzo Ball Soup

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Sure, sometimes the matzo balls are so dense you feel like you ate a softball and are scared of what’s gonna come out the other end. But when a matzo ball soup is done correctly, it’ll warm your entire soul.

12. Wonton Soup / Via Creative Commons

Never choose between dumplings and soup again.

11. Mushroom Soup

Something magic happens to mushrooms when you blend them up, especially if you use rosemary.

10. Potato Soup

This is perfect if you’ve ever wanted to drink a potato. Potatoes (and sweet potatoes, as shown above) are delicious in all forms, even liquid.

9. New England Clam Chowder

Hot clams in cream seem like a bad idea. WRONG. They’re a great idea.

8. Tomato Soup

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Full disclosure: If all tomato soup was actually tomato-cheddar, it would be at the top of the list. But since it isn’t, tomato remains in the upper middle of the pack. Sometimes it is EXACTLY what you need and sometimes it’s just tomato water.

7. Seafood Bisque

Like eating your own personal creamy ocean.

6. Gazpacho

When it’s hot out there is literally nothing better than gazpacho. It has all the flavors of summer in one convenient bowl. It’s like sunshine was put into a soup.

5. Chicken and Dumpling Soup

This is just an excuse to eat dumplings with the added recreation of chasing after them as they swim around.

4. Pho

Not sure what’s better — the subtle flavors or arguing with people about how to pronounce it. Either way, it will fill your soul with happiness.

3. Tortilla Soup

So many yummy flavors! It’s like a fiesta in your mouth.

2. Ramen

There’s a noodle party and you’re invited.

1. Butternut Squash Soup

This soup is the squash at its best. Creamy and yummy, it’s like drinking velvet.

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