Feeling Spooky? 7 Horror Movies That Are So Bad You Need To Avoid Them.
A great story, amazing visuals, and perfectly timed jump scares. There are many things that make a horror movie REALLY GOOD. Then there are the types of horror movies we wish never existed.
1. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
Think Men In Black but instead of a space ship landing on earth, it's a circus tent. Out of it come killer clowns who attack humans and suck out their blood using funky straws. If that doesn't trigger your no-straw movement tree hugger, I don't know what will. Thankfully, an ice-cream truck will save everybody.
2. Slaughtered Vomit Dolls (2006)
Follow a bulimic stripper-turned-prostitute as she begins to see hallucinations of her friends dying. Hoping for a plot? Forget it. Consider it scary? Dumb at best. Yeah, even our good friend Lucifer Valentine and world-renowned Kingdom of Hell Productions aren't adding prestige to this one.
3. The Gingerdead Man (2006)
What do you get when you combine a mix of gingerbread spice mix and the ashes of cereal, eeh serial killer Millard Findlemeyer? You guessed it. The Gingerdead Man. 75 minutes filled with a bunch of c-list actors bringing us a half-human-half-baked-item terrorizing a local town.
My recommendation? Stick to Shrek to satisfy your Gingerbread Man needs.
4. Birdemic: Shock & Terror (2010)
Imagine waking up one morning and seeing eagles & vultures spitting acid and exploding into flames when coming into contact with the ground? You might wonder what could cause that? Well, hold the fort, the movie tells you: global warming.
Thankfully, the doves come to the rescue and the birdemic is over. High-fives.
5. House of Wax (2005)
Remember when Paris Hilton starred in a horror film? Yeah, same. A group of college friends find themselves in a house of wax with two crazy twins and wax figures that seem too realistic to be made out of wax.
Do yourself a favor and skip this one, especially if you are into Madame Tussauds stuff.
6. Fantasy Island (2020)
Looking for something good to come out of 2020? Well, keep looking. Scooby-Doo taught our generation that being invited to a secluded resort typically does not go well.
What started out as fantasies quickly turn into nightmares and the guests must solve mysteries to escape with their lives. Sounds interesting? Just watch Scooby-Doo. You'll thank me later.
7. Prom Night (2008)
Don't we all have memories from prom night that we wish to forget? Well, take a teacher being obsessed with one of his students to a point where he kills her entire family. Three years later, he escapes custody and kills everybody in his way to reuniting with his student.
Thankfully, horror movies are products of imagination. With this one, I'd rather recount all the amateur body grinding at prom. Either way, skip it.