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16 Most WTF Moments From The "American Horror Story: Coven" Premiere

Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk's FX horror series is back and more twisted than ever. Here are some of the grossest, most shocking moments from the premiere of the third installment of the American Horror Story anthology series. WARNING: Spoilers for "Bitchcraft" and graphic content ahead.

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2. And when we saw her attic full of mutilated slaves.

FX

File under: Things we wish we could unsee. For those who want to feel extra unsettled, you can read up on the real Madame LaLaurie. Yep, she was a real person, though the details of her heinous crimes may have been embellished.

4. When Zoe accidentally killed a guy by having sex with him.

FX

Yes, it looks like Zoe's power is that she can fuck people to death. They die horribly, seizing uncontrollably while they bleed from every orifice. But the real victim here is Zoe, who can never have sex.

5. When Zoe showed up at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies and immediately got attacked.

FX

It looked like the masked assailants were going to sacrifice her, but surprise, those were just Zoe's new classmates being hilarious! Cool prank, kids.

7. When Fiona did a bunch of coke. And cried. And danced.

FX

Every season of American Horror Story, the always exceptional Jessica Lange somehow gets even more amazing. Seriously, just give her all the Emmys.

8. And when she sucked the life out of a scientist who pissed her off.

FX

But killing him gave her a gorgeous youthful glow. Worth it! (Also, did she go to the Winifred Sanderson School of Sucking The Life Out of Youths?)

9. When Madison killed her director by telepathically dropping a light on his head.

FX

Um, ouch. That looks painful. Turns out this was the incident that got Madison sent to Miss Robichaux's. Do all young witches end up murdering someone?

10. When Queenie stabbed her hand with a fork — and Madison felt it.

FX

Queenie is a "human Voodoo doll." Not the most useful power to have, but it's certainly unique. And gross.

14. When Marie Laveau poisoned Madame LaLaurie.

FX

And this is why we don't fuck with Angela Bassett. Incidentally, there was also a real Marie Laveau, though sadly, she didn't actually poison Madame LaLaurie.

What did you think of the American Horror Story: Coven premiere?