1. Relentless objectification of the male form.
Give the people what they want: great songs, impressive choreography, and so much male flesh it's absurd. Magic Mike's stripping sequences were amazing — the only real problem was that there weren't enough. So: more, please.
3. Choreography by Channing Tatum.
4. Breakaway pants.
5. Audience participation.
6. Matt Bomer.
7. No romantic subplot.
8. More homoeroticism.
9. A sense of humor.
10. Less talking, more singing and dancing.
Why say it with words when you can say it with stage-humping? And yes, some great songs. Preferably about how it feels to hump the stage. Look, this is the Magic Mike musical: These are the power ballads we need.