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The "Spring Breakers" Apparel We Really Need

Yes, a Spring Breakers clothing line is happening. Might we suggest including some of these items?

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1. Brit's "Good Girls Go to Heaven" shirt

Which you will be wearing ironically, natch.
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Which you will be wearing ironically, natch.

2. Alien's Hawaiian shirt

You won't be able to pull it off, but it's going to be a lot of fun watching you try.
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You won't be able to pull it off, but it's going to be a lot of fun watching you try.

3. Candy's horrifying bikini bottom

It's like an angry neon giraffe, and I need it.

It's like an angry neon giraffe, and I need it.

4. Cotty's mesh top

Because it's classy, and so are you.
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Because it's classy, and so are you.

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5. Pastel booty shorts

For when you want to grab your friends' asses, but also it's Easter.
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For when you want to grab your friends' asses, but also it's Easter.

6. Literally everything on display here, minus the guns

Because it's all perfect. And if your friends don't get your hot new style, they're not cool enough to hang with you. Go back to Bible study, nerds.
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Because it's all perfect. And if your friends don't get your hot new style, they're not cool enough to hang with you. Go back to Bible study, nerds.

7. Robes of shame

They smell like bad choices and regret!
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They smell like bad choices and regret!

8. Jailhouse blankets

You don't have to be arrested for narcotics possession to rock out with these cheap, uncomfortable blankets.
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You don't have to be arrested for narcotics possession to rock out with these cheap, uncomfortable blankets.

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9. Cash-flavored breath freshener

Your kiss will taste like money, because you are money.
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Your kiss will taste like money, because you are money.

10. Alien's shorts

He has so many shorts! Every fuckin' color. Surely he can spare a few.
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He has so many shorts! Every fuckin' color. Surely he can spare a few.

11. Cheap hair dye

Look just like your favorite Spring Breakers! Finally you can match Cotty's truly putrid shade.
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Look just like your favorite Spring Breakers! Finally you can match Cotty's truly putrid shade.

12. Alien's grill

Should be flavored to taste like booze and weed for authenticity.
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Should be flavored to taste like booze and weed for authenticity.

13. Alien's dreads

Should smell like ... well, you get the idea. Throw in some sand, too, because Florida.
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Should smell like ... well, you get the idea. Throw in some sand, too, because Florida.

14. Swimwear decorated with fake vomit

What better way to declare, "SPRING BREAK FOREVER, BITCHES."
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What better way to declare, "SPRING BREAK FOREVER, BITCHES."