1.
Keep up with current trends.
2.
Reapply makeup as needed.
3.
But never go to the bathroom unattended.
4.
Pick up on the latest slang.
5.
And avoid the slang that no one's using.
6.
Don't admit your weaknesses.
7.
Accept that you will have bad days.
8.
And keep your feelings to yourself.
9.
But do find time for a little romance.
10.
Always use protection.
11.
Don't try to figure the mean girls out.
12.
And don't underestimate them either.
13.
Teenagers are THE WORST.
14.
Respect the social hierarchy.
16.
But if you want to beat the in-crowd, you may have to join their ranks.
17.
Do whatever it takes to change your image.
18.
Act the part, even if that means treating everyone around you like crap.
19.
Accept that you now hate everyone you hang out with.
20.
They'll never treat you with kindness.
21.
And you'll never actually be friends.
22.
You really just have to tolerate each other for a while.
23.
Once you're at the top, carry yourself with confidence.
24.
Turn your faults into a positive.
25.
Always act like you're in control, even when you're not.
26.
And be self-aware enough to realize when you're in too deep.
27.
When you're tired of being someone you're not, rediscover your true self.
28.
Own your unconventional appearance.
29.
Stand up to your former oppressors.
30.
And through it all, keep smiling.
31.
Always remember that there is life after high school.
32.
So focus on the future.
33.
One day people will appreciate you for who you are.
34.
Besides, the Queen Bee gets her comeuppance in the end.
35.
Just make sure you learn a valuable lesson. The worst four years of your life can't have been for nothing.
36.
And remember what really matters: you survived.
