1. Smoking is cool.
2. Greasy hair is a good thing.
3. It's OK to kiss and tell, as long as it's in song.
4. Cynicism is the coolest.
5. Walk with your breasts pushed forward, no matter how awkward it feels.
6. Men are rats.
7. You can blow smoke in a teacher's face without consequences.
8. Seriously, though. If you want to look cool, you should smoke.
9. There is nothing more shameful than being a virgin.