Why Dimitri From "Anastasia" Leaves Your Disney Man In The Dust

Or, why floppy 90s hair needs to come back into fashion.

Anastasia, the musical opens on Broadway this week and the fomo for those stuck Down Under is painful. But you can take your mind off it by thinking about your first boyfriend*.

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*Imaginary boyfriend.

Anastasia was released in 1998 and with it, Dimitri.

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He mopped the floor with your basic Disney boys.

I mean, can you even compare this -

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Kind of weird looking and tired.

With this?

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He looks like Leonardo Dicaprio if Leonardo Dicaprio existed only in two dimensions.

Where your Disney boyfriend is sweet but maybe not smart,

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We can all agree Li Shang has got a great animated body but how could he really think Mulan/Ping was a man?

Dimitri was very smart, he survived the Russian Revolution and saved Anastasia's life multiple times.

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And sometimes he was sweet too.

Then there's the voice.

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We can thank John Cusack, the original puppy dog eyed man for this one.

Can you name the voice actor of your Disney boyfriend?

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Or more to the point, could anybody else name it?

Dimitri had sass.

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And he knew how to use it.

See?

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But really, we know it's just the hair.

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His hair puts Disney princess hair to shame. Just look at it blowing in the breeze.

The hair, the hair, the hair.

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So you can keep your Flynn Rider.

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Because he's got nothing on this animated Russian babe.