Questions That I Have About The Tootsie Pop Commercial

Ponder with me.

Why Is The Boy In The Tootsie Pop Commercial Nude?

Via firewireblog.com

Did someone just tell this young man that the answer to his question about candy lies somewhere in the woods? That the only way to get the answer that he seeks is to strip down naked, cheeks flapping in the breeze, and talk to animals. This seems very unsanitary and pretty creepy.

Why Does Mr. Owl Have On More Clothes Than The Boy?

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The boy is bare ass naked but Mr. Owl gets a hat and glasses? This leads me to many more questions such as, where did he get this hat? Is that really a graduation cap? How do his glasses stay on his head when his ears are no where near the temples?!

What Flavor Is The Tootsie Pop in Question?

Is the Tootsie Pop really orange flavored? The orange coloring and the end of the video claim that it is in fact orange. However, the orange flavor is delicious. Clearly this Tootsie Pop is not very good because Mr. Owl can only stand to take 3 licks before finishing it. Something doesn't add up.

Why Are All Of The Other Animals In The Commercial So God Damn Useless?

If you watch the original Tootsie Pop commercial in its entirety you will know that the naked boy asks 3 different animals before he asks Mr. Owl the iconic question--Mr. Cow, Mr. Fox, and Mr. Turtle. The peculiar thing is each animal has on more clothes than the previous. Is there correlation between clothing and knowledge in this strange alternate universe? Is Mr. Owl their clothed overlord?

Is Mr. Owl Hot?

Knowing that Mr. Owl is an educated bird which gives him major points from the start. Once you take off his glasses, however, the game is completely changed. Take notice of his chiseled six pack and sexy dragon tattoo. Maybe this one is less of a question and more of an answer...Mr. Owl is a total babe.

Is The Tootsie Pop Commercial and Allegory for the Story of Adam and Eve and Original Sin?

The boy appears naked just as Adam and Eve do in the Garden of Eden. Mr. Owl is in a tree, which symbolizes the tree of knowledge. Therefore Mr. Owl symbolizes Satan. The boy is punished for defying God and going to the tree by losing his Tootsie Pop. The boy will later burn in Hell. So what's the deal, Tootsie Roll Industries?

How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop?

The world may never know...