5 Facts About Everybody Named Doug

Not everything about Dougs is funny.

1. Not All Dougs Are Named Douglas

A common misconception. Dougs are sick of people assuming that their name is short for Douglas. Doug can be short for many names such as, Douggerino, Dougly and Dougson Mandela.

2. Dougs Will Always Vote 3rd Party

Dougs think that the two party system is B.S. It has been said that if either two party candidate were to get the coveted "Doug vote" they would win in a landslide. That will not happen.

3. All Dougs are from Santa Fe, New Mexico

Ask any Doug where they are from. They will say Santa Fe. If they give another answer, they are lying.

4. All Dougs CAN Eat a Whole Boiled Chicken

Anyone who has ever witnessed it will never forget. They unhinge their jaws in a serpentine fashion and engulf a whole boiled chicken.

5. All Dougs Have The Same Dream Every Night

Each night all Dougs have the exact same dream. The dream of all Dougs begins with them laying nude in a field. A sinkhole opens and the Doug falls in. He cannot get out of the hole on his own. To escape the hole the Doug turns into a large bird. The species of bird is flightless. The Doug remains flightless. This shared dream phenomenon is known as the "Doug Singularity."