Questions and Thoughts I have While Watching ‘House Hunters’
We all find ourselves watching an episode of House Hunters from time to time.
House Hunters gives us the opportunity to live vicariously through the biggest financial purchase of other’s lives. Money is so much easier to spend when it isn’t yours.
It also allows us to question our own career paths, relationship status, the state we live in and wish list in our future homes.
That being said, these are some of the many thoughts that run through my head during an episode of House Hunters:
“They’re fresh out of college and can afford a $500,000 house?!?! Where did it all go wrong for me…?”
“I wonder how these two met”
“Nice place, but it isn’t in the school district where their toddler’s best friend goes to kindergarten.”
“She’s way out of his league – he must make a lot of money.”
“Uh-oh, I see wall paper. This bitch is going to FLIP. How does this guy put up with this broad?”
“Nice place, but the backyard isn’t fenced in for the dogs to run around in.”
“This house has too many walls.”
“Look at that kitchen. The 80s were weird, man”
“Nice place, but it’s within 30 miles to a highway. How on earth will they sleep at night?”
“That’s a lot of grass to mow. He was breathing pretty heavy going up those stairs before, he’s definitely going to have to pay a guy.”
“Ugh, I hate when I miss the introduction. Now I don’t know what kind of outdoor activities these two pretend to participate in on a regular basis.”
“Nice place, but it doesn’t have a grand foyer that she won’t shut the fuck up about”
“How much money do you have to make a year to live in California?”
“Another episode in Waco, Texas? I want to know where all the former residents are relocating to.”
“Nice place, but this chick doesn’t paint her own finger nails – you really think she’s going to paint her own bedroom?”
“Maybe I should consider relocating.”
“This will be the year I finally get my real estate license.”
“Nice place, but it’s hard to imagine living there without a fully furnished theater room included.”
“Can they really knock that wall down? It looks to be load bearing”
“Why did they marry so young?”
“Nice place, but not having a garage that can house five cars, an RV and a boat is a deal breaking”
“I think I could take out a bank loan and buy an entire town in Florida If houses are that cheap”
“I swear to god, if they talk about knocking a wall down one more time…”
“Nice place, but it’s not walking distance to the shops they will never visit.”
“A fixer upper? Please, these two can’t look past carpeted floors. They have no vision for a remodel.”
“Is it mandatory for at least one of the three houses to contain a pink bathroom?”
“Nice place, but how do you expect her clothes to fit in a closet that is only the size of Delaware?”
“This place is way over budget. Why even waste our time?”
“Who’s the dick that ever thought popcorn ceilings were a good look?”
“There were pros and cons will all three places. Now they just need to compromise. And by compromise I mean buy the house that fits her needs since she will probably end up getting it in the divorce anyways.”
Please do a “Where are they now?” episode and show them under a collapsed house after taking down too many walls.
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