1.
You get to shoplift something small, once, legally, so you can feel like a badass:
2.
There will be a $25 fine every time you catcall:
3.
If you get on the train before everyone gets off, you have to spend your next three rides alone in the smelly car:
4.
Henceforth, bars shall remain open 24/7:
5.
Appointing yourself DJ for the night will get you evicted from the party unless you are hosting the party OR the host asks you to be the DJ:
7.
If you wear a puka shell necklace, go directly to jail and do not collect $200:
8.
Foot-powered scooters are illegal for everyone over the age of 10:
9.
Same-side sitters at restaurants will be ticketed and then banned from said restaurant:
10.
You can citizen's-arrest anyone for wearing a fedora:
11.
Girls who talk loudly on the phone at nail salons will immediately get their manicures smudged:
12.
And the best law of them all — free sides of bacon with ev-er-y-thang:
Your roommate's loud, annoying sex totally now counts as a "domestic disturbance":
