1. In the year 2000, a New York City Burger King offered the use of PCs and 20 minutes of internet time with a purchase. During which you might do such exciting things as search Excite.
2. It was, perhaps, a more innocent time. After all, grown men may have considered seeing Rugrats in Paris in the theater.
3. It was, perhaps, a simpler time. A time when people still included depictions of Wall Street signs in their happy murals of clouds and Filet O’Fish.
4. Patrons could also watch television. Which was very important because it was the Bush/Gore election debacle.
5. As many as nine of them simultaneously. Because this was a time when we were living THE FUTURE.
6. This glorious Burger King — it was a peaceful place. A place where no one spilled beverages, nor searched for porn, nor put their greasy fingers on public keyboards. Remember this time, dear children. Keep it close to your hearts.
- Donald Trump accused former Miss Universe Alicia Machado of being in a sex tape, calling her "disgusting." He's appeared in a softcore porn.
- The hair vitamins promoted by the Kardashians make "largely inaccurate" nutrient claims, according to lab tests.
- In a newly released video deposition, Trump implied he planned to call Mexicans "rapists" when he announced his presidential run.