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Jan 13, 2015

12 Songs '90s Girls Didn't Realize Were Actually Questionable

Your daughter will never hear these songs.

1. "The Boy Is Mine," Brandy & Monica (1998)

Brandy and Monica totally missed the point of this song. You are fighting over a guy ... WHO IS CLEARLY CHEATING ON YOU.

2. Britney Spears, "...Baby One More Time" (1998)

Everyone loves Britney. You still love Britney, and there's nothing wrong with that. But now you're a grownup, you can maybe see how uncomfortable this made your parents. Sorry, daddy. I'm still your little girl.

3. Aqua, "Barbie Girl" (1997)

At the time, you perceived this song as comedy, but just remember these lyrics: "You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere," "I'm a blond bimbo girl," "Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky."

4. Jordan Knight, "Give It to You" (1999)

Jordan Knight probably didn't mean for these lyrics to come off so, um, forceful? "It's creepin' around in your head / Me holdin' you down in my bed / You don't have to say a word / I'm convinced you want this."

5. TLC, "No Scrubs" (1999)

On the surface, this is a girl-power jam about women who won't accept men who don't treat them right. But there's one thing that's a bit off. Finding the anti-scrub is all about money: "Wanna get with me with no money? Oh no!"

6. Christina Aguilera, "Genie in a Bottle" (1999)

Remember these lyrics? "My body's sayin' let's go, but my heart is sayin' no." If your heart is saying no, then your vagina is most certainly saying no. STAY IN THE GENIE BOTTLE. No matter how tempting his frosted tips and eyebrow ring are.

7. Ace of Base, "All That She Wants" (1992)

OK, this song is actually incredibly confusing because when they sing "All that she wants is another baby" — like, is that literally a newborn child? (Probably not, but you can't help but think it.) Either way, this song seems to be about a really sad woman. Yes, she has fun on the beach, but ultimately "she leads a lonely life," and seems to seek comfort in the arms of a new man each night — "She's gone tomorrow, boy."

8. Fiona Apple, "Criminal" (1996)

Any song that starts with "I've been a bad, bad girl" is probably not appropriate slumber-party sing-along material. And yet chances are you did a sultry dance to this with your friends when you were all still in Jockey training bras.

::shakes head::

9. Spice Girls, "Stop" (1997)

This song really isn't that bad, but there is something slightly uncomfortable in a woman imploring a man — repeatedly — to "stop." Taking it slow is a good message, it's just kind of unfortunate that some dudes always move too fast.

10. Five, "When the Lights Go Out" (1998)

When the lights go out, the members of this British boy band are sure that women will throw their bodies at them, despite this admission at the beginning of the song: "I never wanted to be so unkind." Now, listening to the lyric "Babe, I swear you will succumb to me" might make you feel slightly unsafe.

11. 702, "Where My Girls At" (1999)

True, having your girls to back you up and support you is a good thing. But, if another woman is posing such a threat to your relationship that you're compelled to "chop her down to size," chances are your man is complicit in the interaction. No need for catfights — can't we all just get along?

12. Destiny's Child, "Bills, Bills, Bills" (1999)

The man in question here is obviously an asshole, but is it too far off-base to say Destiny's Child are acting as the enabler in this relationship? It's one thing to loan a guy your car, but giving him your credit card?! That doesn't seem to jibe with the concept of being an "independent woman."

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