And now, for a look back at 2001’s most inspiring movie about the struggles of fame and family. It’s all about finding your inner glitter. So go on and get your glitter back, girl. Let’s look at the beauty in Mariah’s oeuvre.
1. When young Mimi — I mean “Billie” — sings with her alcoholic mother and they kill it on stage.
2. When young Billie is sent away from her mom but there’s this awesome kitten.
3. When Billie is a young woman and is trying to make it with her dance-pop group girlfriends, one of whom is DA BRAT. So that’s rad.
4. When Padma Lakshmi plays Sylk, a tone-deaf aspiring recording artist who invites Billie and her girls to be backup vocalists. And from the get-go, Billie’s thinking, “Pack your knives and go, bitch.”
5. This blow job joke because it is beautiful writing.
6. When Billie meets a DJ/music producer named Dice and says this. Also beautiful writing.
7. When Billie freestyles in the club. And it sounds super high and awesome like eeeeeoooooeoeeiieieiiiiieeaiiiieee.
8. When Billie knows her life is about to change and her head explodes into glitter.
9. When Billie is overpowered by glitter.
10. When her music video starts turning into a weird tribal ritual, and she and Dice are like, “Fuck this shit.” And they leave the set.
11. When Dice plays the marimba for Billie.
12. When Billie’s single hits the radio and they stop traffic and dance with the cabbie.
13. When Billie gifts Dice with this luxurious Yamaha keyboard which comes with pre-programmed salsa beats.
14. When Dice becomes an asshole, but Billie stays humble.
15. When the scary music rival guy threatens Billie because Dice owes him money. And Billie keeps her cool.
16. When Dice turns into a sad, smoking, Yamaha-playing man without Billie. Because the glitter in him was hurt.
17. When Billie goes to Dice’s house to reconcile, but he’s not home, and she sees the music he’s composed for her and she kisses it.
18. When Dice gets shot. This is “WTF glitter.”
19. And Billie has to perform but Dice is DEAD! She’s so sad and beautiful.
20. When Billie finds her mom who has been totally clean and living in a pretty cute looking place in Maryland all this time. Sometimes the glitter keeps people apart. The glitter has its reasons.
21. When Billie and her mom reunite and the glitter is just so powerful from within. Now Billie has all the glitter.
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