In the 1930s, one way to make extra cash was to become a professional scarecrow...
Prospective applicants should take into consideration the following:
1. Do you have a brain? (Most scarecrow do not.)
2. Do you have tattered clothes? (Do not show up wearing any of those fake-ripped luxury jeans. Authenticity counts.)
3. Are you afraid of birds? (This may be a problem.)
4. Can you spend hours on end dancing in a field? (List all prior music festival experience a la Coachella, etc.)
5. Do you scare others?
6. Will you stop at nothing to defend precious, precious crops?