

I am a pumpkin spice AUTUMNAL PRINCESS!
It's an apple-scented gel cream in a pot that LOOKS LIKE AN APPLE.
Pumpkin BUTTER? I imagine this is like having slippery shower sex with a pumpkin pie. To which I say: Pumpkin me, baby. Pumpkin me HARD.
Not only is this polish the color of glittery fall foliage, it has an autumn spice scent. SMELL MAH NAILS, BIOTCH.
This gloss gives your lips a tingle, plumps them up, and makes them feel like they just had a makeout session with CinnaMAN.
Just like sudsing up in a pear orchard. Pear-y nice.
This fancy apple cider shampoo will purify your hair, removing buildup and grossness. Just picture yourself: Dressed in a cashmere sweater, suede boots crunching colorful leaves, your hair, FUCKING PERFECT. FUCK YEAH FALL.
Don't be fooled by its jolly orange hue — pumpkin enzymes are INTENSE. They might rip your face off. In the best way possible.
This is just a very bright, very perfect, very cranberry hue for fall. PRETTYPRETTYPRETTY.
Just like puttin' your face in a friggin' cranberry bog. YOU WILL BE CLEANSED.
Step one: Spread on thick. Step two: Smell the comforting smells of brown sugar. Step three: EAT YOUR HANDS BECAUSE OMFG FINGERS HOW DO YOU SMELL SO GOOD.
This is like the essence of fall in a lip balm. Smear that fall ON.
A mix of red and golden shimmer is like leaves set on fire. FIRE I SAY!!! MUAHAHAH.
I feel like if there was a Miss Thanksgiving contest, the winner would wear this color. SO GO OUT THERE AND FUCKING WIN, LIPS.
Pumpkin latte and marshmallows. This is basically like getting a massage at Starbucks.
Ugh, how ANNOYING is it making a bonfire every night just so you can wear the scent on you the next day? But thanks to the miracles of modern science, that smell can now be bottled and sold and HOLY SHIT WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS.
This barely-tinted balm says to me, "Hey, I'm the cool girl who always looks like I have no makeup on and yet I am so radiant." And I'm just like, "How? What? What are you? French or something?" So yeah, buy this lip balm.
All the most perfect shades for the season. This will turn you into a goddamned AUTUMNAL PRINCESS.