7. Time to get out onto the rink. OMG skater supervisor, I am FINE. Leave me alone. You are making me look uncool.
8. Here’s that one old guy who comes alone every Saturday. He is mysteriously good.
9. And also that one really annoying rollerblading guy who goes way too fast and jam-skates right in front of you and almost kills you.
10. The one time you tried rollerblades, you realized: This is really hard and no fun.
11. If you fall down, just pretend it was this sexy floor move you meant to do.
12. Time for the limbo! UGH. That one girl wins. Every. Single. Time. We get it, you’re flexible.
13. Be sure to request your favorite song! (And when the DJ doesn’t play it immediately, request it four more times.)
14. Disco skate! You and your friend are so funny.
15. OMG they’re playing “Sweet Dreams”!!!!! Quick! Freak out and head over to your best friend so you can skate together.
16. Hanging onto your friend’s hips never works. But it’s still fun!
17. You’re really good at this game, skinned knees be damned.
18. You also participate in an extremely uncoordinated round of the Hokey Pokey.
20. Or if you’re still in the rink, you can skate by your friends and steal their nachos. Or just hang out. Roller skating is so cool!!! It’s like walking on wheels.
21. Boys. Gotta do this at least eight or nine times.
22. You can’t leave without doing a messed-up conga line.
23. Or, of course, couples’ skate. Because roller skating, at the end of the day, is really all about the sweaty hand-holding. Which is so much more fun when you’re going fast.
24. Roller skating is the best!!!! See you next weekend?
- A right-leaning nonprofit is planning to place news articles critical of Clinton in black newspapers ahead of the election 📰
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