10 Steps To Survive A Trip To A Farmer's Market

Don't just survive, but thrive while visiting your local food market. Whether you are at a fun Farmer's Market or "sample hour" at your local Costco Wholesale, learn to get in and get out without gaining 15 pounds and spending your entire month's income.

Step 1. Find a friend to join you on your food adventure.

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Preferably a fellow "foodie" who truly appreciates gourmet and exotic farmer's market foods as much as you do. A friend will keep yourself accountable for keeping your appetite and your wallet in check. Warning: Two or more friends may cause unnecessary problems when trying to stick together in a large crowd. Remember this.

Step 2. Make a game plan.

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Access a map of the food market. Devise a plan and a route to follow. Do you walk the market's perimeter first to look at all of your options? Do you sample all of the foods? Do you EAT ALL OF THE YUMMY FOODS? Ok, calm down. This panic attack is exactly what you want to avoid on the actual farmer's market day. THIS is why you make a game plan.

Step 3. Start off your Food Market day RIGHT.

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Wake up sleepy head, FARMER'S MARKET DAY IS HERE *fist pumps* !!! Have a light breakfast. Focus on protein. Maybe some eggs. Stay away from bread... You don't want to fill yourself up before you journey to the land of all of the yummy foods. Leave room in that belly, but give your body some ENERGY. Trust me, you'll need it.

Step. 4 Dress to ingest.

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Yes you heard me correctly... DO NOT dress to impress, but rather, dress to INGEST. Stretchy pants are always a good idea. Leggings are preferred. Wear a shirt that can breathe to avoid sweat. Tennis-shoes for complete mobility. Try some practice lunges and squats before the day's events.

Step 5. Enter the farmer's market.

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The much anticipated moment is here! Whilst arriving, you will smell the sweet smell of warm chocolate, the sharp and pungent smell of exotic cheeses, the smell of mouthwatering breads of all sorts, honeyed and candied nuts, cream filled donuts, fragrant fruits, wood-burned pizzas, and Indian cuisine, and ice creams, AND CINNAMON, AND COFFEE, AND.... Okay, breathe. Take it all in and CALM DOWN. Remember, you have plenty of time to walk the food market, explore with your "foodie" friend you brought along, and make your purchases while sampling EVERYTHING. Ready, set, EAT!

Step 6. Sample the foods.

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Trays of chocolate assortments, candied nuts, meats on toothpicks with tiny cups of dipping sauces, pronged cheeses, and samples of warm teas and coffees will be thrown in your face. It's sample time! Take what you can. Eat what you take. Take EVERYTHING! It's free. What do you have to lose?

Step 7. Remember the person you came with.

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Find your exit buddy. Do you have your exit buddy? But really, is the friend you brought with you still there? Have you lost that person in the crowd of hundreds of other foodies? Did you stray away from your friend because you saw a tantalizing food sample that your tastebuds just couldn't resist? You have lost your friend. You panic. YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR.... Oh look, free pastry samples!

Step 8. Assess your appetite.

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How many samples have you had? Probably 10... or 60 samples. Are you even still hungry? Probably not. Are you going to bring your wallet out to purchase the favorites of the foods you sampled? Yes. Are you actually going to purchase everything that comes into your vision whether or not you've sampled and approved it or not? Yes. ARE YOU GOING TO BUY ALL OF THE FOODS?!?! YES.

Step 9. Come back to reality.

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Hello? HELLO?! SNAP OUT OF THE FOOD MARKET TRANCE! Look at what you're holding in your hands. You are holding bags and bags and BAGS of food. What're in the bags? You don't know? Is your wallet completely empty? You bet it is. You think, "It's okay. I came to this market to buy the foods. I got enough fresh fruit to last me for days, fifteen different types of bread, ten types of cakes, dairy-free ice creams, Asian candy, some type of meat from Jamaica, enough Indian curry to last me a year, shrimps, mini-pies (because they were so cute), tea bags, lentils, macaroons... five different types of olives... uh oh."

Step 10. Go home.

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Store your foods. Take a nap. Wake up. Don't freak out when you realize that "farmer's market DREAM" was a reality. Open snapchat from your food market buddy. Realize you forgot him or her, but also realize that your friend went home alone with the exact same amount of food that you did. Breathe. And now, learn to cook... Because you've got a year's supply of farm fresh food that is all going to expire in two weeks.

You did not survive the food market. Deepest apologies.