Join us for one last journey to Mystic Falls.
Katja and Lauren instantly recognized the potential for obsessive fandom in each other when they met in graduate school. Fated much like the Doppelgängers.
Katja lives in Scotland now, and Lauren is still in the US, so time zones made this experience even more thrilling.
(Katja) So here we are, after 8 years and 170 episodes. This is not the only fandom we share, but it certainly is one of the more intense ones. And I take full responsibility for handing you the shovel to dig yourself into this pit.
(Lauren) Yeah, I had no knowledge of any of this before you suggested it to me. I knew and loved Ian Somerhalder from Lost, but that’s about it.
(K) My Timehop shows me memories from throughout the years of us freaking out about whatever drama was playing out in Mystic Falls.
We both love Mystic Grill.
(L) Somehow, for me, there has always been a sense that the show was happening in the present. Maybe it’s the pop culture references? With other shows, you aren’t sure where they’re going to pick up in the next season, but with TVD I always knew they wouldn’t leave anything out. Plus, there aren’t too many shows that do the cliffhanger like TVD. I spent the breaks asking, “Did they die?” and “Are they really dead?”
(K) Like you said before, maybe vampires aren’t that important. But I have been watching since the premiere in 2009, I’ve moved to three different countries, I’ve had relationships, break-ups, graduated three times, and started three new jobs and these people have been with me the whole time. Especially Damon. He gave me hope that you don’t have to become what other people think is “good” to be loved. He gave me permission to be my own bastard self and still feel good about myself. “Own it, live it, love it.”
(L) And he still got the girl! Granted, I wouldn’t be so quick to fight with a sibling over Elena Gilbert, but to each his own.
(K) Sure you’ve got enough wine for this? I’m seriously rethinking my sobriety right now.
(L) I started with tequila to be sure, but yes, the wine is flowing in my Mystic Grill cup.
Here we go. Watch with us.
1. (L) Previews: Vicki is such a wonderful bookend.
2. (K) Stefan channeling his inner doppelgänger. The EMT one.
3. (L) I forgot that was a thing.
4. (K) I see Bonnie’s about die and come back for what the 13th time?
5. (K) Which Other Side is this again?
6. (L) We should have made flashcards.
7. (L) Holy shit there’s Nina! Oh that wig is badddd.
8. (K) I forget, how many years has it been? Season 7 threw me off.
9. (K) ENZOOO I love him! “Sorry, love”
10. (K) There she is, Bonnie’s coming back, we’ve certainly been here before.
11. (L) Damon vs. Vicki – again! Amazing.
12. (K) I don’t understand why they just let the bell hang there? “Let’s just leave this weapon of mass destruction here.”
13. (L) Couldn’t Bonnie at least witch something to keep the Donovans out of the room? Useless witches.
14. (K) Damon for the final dig at Donovan
15. (L) Please don’t make Caroline stay in a wedding dress for this whole episode.
16. (K) Gas leak!
17. (L) OF COURSE IT’S A GAS LEAK. How many people have been fired from the gas company for these people?
18. (K) No way that’s Elena. Can’t be that easy.
44. (L) Your heart is thawing.
45. (L) Ok I’m not married, but if my spouse of 1 second just let me go alone, I would be a tad disappointed.
46. (L) Ric is so sorry, yet he looks anything but sorry. He’s really letting me down here at the end.
47. (K) Parenthood bullshit. See what I mean about children? Elena is Ric’s stepdaughter, and Damon basically his only friend.
48. (K) “Bonnie? Is everything ok?” Nothing is ok Stefan, have you not been paying attention?
49. (L) He’s Mr. Exposition around Mystic Falls.
50. (K) “I’m gonna save the world.” Oh don’t be so modest, Bonnie.
51. (L) Katherine, what do you have on?
52. (K) Why is Damon giving away the whole plan? These last episodes have been all about explaining and re-explaining what we’ve already seen. Damon has clearly given up on these people’s ability to keep up.
53. (L) “And miss a minute of the Elena Gilbert show?” PREACH.
54. (K) Dobreva is really good, as much as it hurts me to admit it.
55. (L) Yeah, it’s interesting that you can tell which Doppelgänger she is by the look on her face. I don’t know how she manages to keep them so separate.
56. (K) “I did this for her.” Always with Elena, why can’t she do anything for herself?
57. (L) Oh god. No. The Salvatores cannot both be martyrs to take Katherine down, but we all know THEY TOTALLY WILL.
58. (K) How does Damon “quite literally” have an eternity with Elena? She’s human.
59. (L) There’s probably a loophole for the cure. Spinoff potential! Both Salvatores die, while Elena lives forever.
60. (L) Ok, let’s battle to be the martyr. Is Plec really going to kill—for real kill this time—a Salvatore?
61. (L) Salvatores arguing about redemption is a little much. Haven’t they both saved multiple people multiple times? Normal people don’t do much saving, so I think they’re fine.
62. (L) Wait, hasn’t Stefan killed more? The ripping? Ok, now’s not the time to tally up deaths. I’ll do that later.
63. (L) Stefan is ditching Caroline after five minutes, which makes me feel better about my Steroline disbelief. He doesn’t even buy it.
64. (K) Yea I’m over it again. Forget my little slip earlier.
65. (L) Why isn’t Stefan on vervain?
66. (K) “I love you little brother.” Crying.
67. (K) Crying.
68. (L) CRYING.
69. (K) “Because I am the big brother.”
70. (L) Someone get my plot in the Salvatore tomb ready. I’m not going to make it out.
71. (K) CRYING.
72. (L) Casting note: Vicki looks a lot like her dad somehow.
73. (K) Honestly, I don’t have any emotions left for the Donovan family drama.
74. (L) I don’t either. This is just a distraction. How many times are we going to mourn Vicki?
75. (K) Phasmatos the phuck out of this shit for one last time!
76. (L) That’s a weak number of candles, Bonnie. Someone get Bonnie more candles for the phasmatosing! Do we not have a box specifically for this purpose after 8 seasons? Salvatore birthday candles, maybe?
77. (K) Seems like an inefficient way to do magic, honestly. “Wait I have to light 78 more tapers!”
78. (L) Have Elena light another house on fire instead!
79. (L) Caroline’s voicemail has me teared up.
80. (K) Forever is a long time, Caroline. Talk to Klaus, he’ll understand.
81. (L) Ric’s creeping on the voicemail has me creeped out.
82. (K) Yea really! When did he become such a creep? Then again, he is hanging out with his former high school students.
83. (K) Here we go!!! 10pm. Why 10pm by the way? Wouldn’t midnight seem more dramatic?
84. (L) I’m purposefully trying not to understand Katherine’s plan. Why didn’t she just blow the town up without any warning? Why is Vicki ringing it every five minutes instead of just all at once? Ok, I’ll stop.
85. (L) WTF Matty Blue Eyes! Get out of harm’s way!
86. (L) I do not like that look in your eyes, Stefan!
87. (K) It’s his “this is my I’m-going-to-do-something-stupid-to-be-a-hero” face.
88. (L) Look at Bonnie witching out! Give me one more Bon-Bon nosebleed for the road.
89. (K) Nosebleed, the witches’ plague.
90. (L) Enzo has a motivational speaking tour in the peaceful place.
91. (K) I liked his evil speeches better TBH.
92. (L) Oh, hey Grams. What do you have for us from the Great Beyond? She has really made friends with whoever allows this communication from the peaceful place.
93. (K) All the Bennet witches? Really? So they all moved from the first other side to this other other side?
94. (L) Bennett witches everywhere! This is some kind of girl power.
95. (L) How dare you come for that beautiful clock tower!
96. (L) “I did it!” says Bonnie. I mean, yeah, but you had a little help.
97. (K) Did she die again? Surely not.
98. (L) Oh, good. Elena’s up.
99. (L) There’s Stefan! Here to save the day!
100. (K) We’ve come full circle with the Stelena meet-cute.
101. (L) Stefan just drops these bombs on Elena without an ounce of warning. Long time no see, here’s what you missed in today’s death report.
102. (L) Wait a minute, Hero Hair, what have you done?
103. (L) I have always been confused about how the cure works, and you’re choosing now to explain it to me in clear words?
104. (K) But wait, so if Stefan had ever had his blood drawn say for a blood test then he would have immediately started to age? Or can you just decide to draw the cure bit?
105. (L) “Here is my special cure needle for my special cure vein.”
106. (L) Oh. My. God. He cured Damon. Oh. My. God.
107. (K) NOOOOOO
108. (L) STEFAN WTF WT ACTUAL F
109. (K) *incoherent rage-crying*
110. (L) “I did what I had to do.” I can’t make words right now.
111. (K) We basically watched all this time to just be told that being a vampire sucks.
112. (L) I’m ignoring that vampire pun.
113. (K) May I just remind you that in season 6 Stefan said that Damon didn’t become Damon until he became a vampire. That’s when he found purpose.
114. (L) So we’re just going to accept that he has a new purpose?? His original purpose was dealing with Katherine.
115. (K) WHAT DID I TELL YOU WAS THE ONE THING I COULD NOT LIVE WITH?
116. (L) Goodbye Brother – stab my heart with a white oak stake.
117. (K) Crying for Stefan. Hate it when that happens.
118. (L) This is not fair. What about Caroline???
119. (L) Why do you get to decide this, Stefan?
120. (L) Why are we doing this for Elena? Why do we always do these things for freaking Elena??
121. (L) One Last Time – Hamilton reference – I see you, Plec.
122. (L) Wait! I want to hear what Stefan is whispering!!!
123. (K) What did you say Stefan?
124. (K) This song is from the pilot.
125. (L) THE FRAY THROWBACK OH MY GOD MY DEATH IS IMMINENT (SOBS)
126. (L) OF COURSE THE FREAKING FRAY. This is the perfect song.
127. (K) I’m like a mom trying to be in the know “oh this is that song”
128. (BOTH) Lexi!
129. (L) The car! SOBS
130. (K) SOBS. We’ve been Lexied.
131. (L) “I was feeling epic.” This is the perfect line. (SOBS)
132. (L) “Dear Diary” line throwback! Yes, today will be different. Stefan will be dead. There’s one less person worshipping at your stupid human feet.
133. (K) Dear diary, we have left Mystic Falls and entered Tree Hill.
134. (L) This is what happens with the cure! They’re just dramatic people in a small town!
135. (L) Caroline is thrilled Stefan knew how to use voicemail. Go to hell.
136. (K) Hell is gone, Lauren. Except for this one on earth.
137. (L) Katherine’s ultimate revenge.
138. (K) “I did it. I broke the spell.” So she could’ve done this all this time? Fuck you Bonnie.
139. (L) She was too busy being in love to try.
140. (L) How does everyone still have their humanity on?? Are we all grown now?
141. (K) They put that stone up fast.
142. (L) Oh, good! Vicki and Tyler! I was so worried no one would get their happy endings! (These people annoy the hell out of me even at peace.)
143. (K) I’m so glad his death was so insignificant. Klaus should’ve killed him seasons ago. They really should’ve called him the minute those sirens showed up.
144. (L) How does everyone get something but Stefan?
145. (K) How are they supposed to get over this? Basically every little thing Elena does has to measure up to everything they sacrificed.
146. (L) “My brother didn’t die curing me of vampirism so you could fail a med school exam, Elena.”
147. (K) Look at her smug smile. “I got everything I wanted.”
148. (L) This is shit. Life is shit.
149. (K) So the afterlife is basically the beforelife. Then what was wrong with staying a vampire?
150. (L) Caroline, Jeremy, and Alaric are raising magic children now? This is too weird.
151. (K) The started the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.
152. (L) I just realized this means more hunters. Thank god the show is ending. No more mystical tattoos.
153. (L) I’m so glad Caroline is still a vampire.
154. (K) Not for long if they let all those future hunters stay.
155. (L) One of them will accidentally kill the teacher. This is the perfect set up for TVD 2.0.
156. (L) BUT I’M JUMPING UP AND DOWN FOR KLAROLINE. Thank you, Klaus. Thank you, Plec.
157. (K) Please tell me Caroline is going to NOLA!
158. (L) If not, why did we just go through all this?
159. (L) Damon as a human is just so tragic. So tragic.
160. (K) Are Elena and Damon not together in the afterlife?
161. (L) JENNA! (SOBS)
162. (L) EVEN UNCLE JOHN (SOBS)
163. (K) You’re crying over Uncle John now?
164. (L) Tears of surprise. I hate surprises.
165. (L) To be honest, I’m annoyed at Elena, even here at the end. So many people sacrificed so she could have the life she wanted, and I’m not sure it was worth it.
166. (K) Girls run the world.
167. (L) The bird in the cemetery!
168. (K) Oh yea, forgot about that. Was it supposed to be Damon’s familiar or something?
169. (L) Elena is still hanging out in cemeteries. Some things don’t change.
170. (K) I want to see her buried in there.
171. (BOTH) “Hello brother.”
(L) When I heard the title of the episode (“I Was Feeling Epic), I wondered if I should take it as implied. Lexi used those words as an excuse for her sacrifice, and I wondered if someone else would do the same. To be honest, I thought it would be Damon.
(K) I did too and I would’ve been more ok with that than this.
(L) I thought the worst thing that could happen would be Damon taking the cure to be with Elena. Stefan had already shown us how horrible things could be if Damon tried to live like a human again. Die to let Elena live a human life? Sure. Live a human life himself? Please no.
(K) We’ve just been told that you have to change who you are to deserve happiness, love, forgiveness? So you can’t be who you are, accept that, and be loved? We watched 8 years of vampires and then got told being human is better, the ultimate goal. And that there’s only one way to be human. Feels a little more than a little “pray away the gay” to me.
(L) Was all of this sacrifice really to save Elena’s human existence? Will I ever understand this?
(K) I wanted to have Damon as a vampire in this world. I don’t want a world without him in it. How is he supposed to be human after all he’s seen and done? How would he ever be ok with a suburban life? And what about his drinking? He and Ric will drink themselves to oblivion at the Grill after Caroline buggers off to New Orleans and Elena cheats on Damon with some young resident.
(L) I’m sorry Katherine didn’t get to rule Hell for very long. I’m happy that Matt’s new bench made him so happy. I’m happy that Bonnie finally decided to leave the literal hellhole that is Mystic Falls. I’m happy that Caroline got a letter from her one true love.
(K) Caroline is the winner of this show. She showed us that you can accept who you are and be accepted as who you are.
(L) I don’t think I’ll ever be over the Stefan thing. I have loved him since the pilot, and I finally thought he was going to have a life that didn’t revolve around Elena Gilbert or any of her Doppelgängers. I can hardly describe the pain I feel for someone who never got what he wanted. He was always one step away. He always wanted to be the good brother. So he finally one-upped Damon by dying? Are we supposed to equate death and self-sacrifice with goodness? Do we think Stefan’s death made Damon’s life any better?
(K) I don’t know, I don’t do well with sacrifice. Although I suppose I should be glad it wasn’t the women sacrificing themselves this time. It seems like it was in line with who Stefan was the whole time, all extremes: either Ripper or Jesus.
(L) How many Other Sides can I be expected to accept? I don’t know if I believe that the peaceful place exists. I don’t know if Uncle John has his fingers back. I don’t know if the Gilberts have been watching their children destroy the lives of everyone in Mystic Falls. I don’t know if Stefan is rocking out to Bon Jovi and drinking all of the good bourbon in the peaceful version of the boarding house.
(K) They could’ve had that same thing if they’d all just stayed vampires.
(L) This is the essence of TVD. This has definitely been a show about love, loopholes, Hero Hair, and vampires. It’s also been a show about death and constant pain and how to salvage whatever is left. No one gets out of Mystic Falls with their lives intact. Of course, it had to end in death, one last time.
(K) I’m just going to erase these last two seasons and leave Damon standing on top of the Mystic Falls clock tower.
BOTH: Goodbye, Mystic Falls.