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33 Essentials If Meat Is The Only Thing That Matters

If you're not pulling pork with meat claws, you're not doing it right.

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Jenny Chang / BuzzFeed

1. Bear Claw Meat Shredders

Unleash the beast within. Get 'em here.
surlatable.com

Unleash the beast within. Get 'em here.

2. Corn Dog Maker

Classic fair food at home? Win.
amazon.com

Classic fair food at home? Win.

3. Bacon Condoms

So in demand, you need to get on the waiting list.

4. USB Heated Lunch Box

Enjoy the meaty desk lunch you've always dreamed of.
amazon.com

Enjoy the meaty desk lunch you've always dreamed of.

5. Tactical BBQ Fork With Laser AND Flashlight

Approach your grilling with skill and precision, even at night!

6. "0% Vegetarian" Tank

And 100% hungry. Get one here.
lookhuman.com

And 100% hungry. Get one here.

7. iDevice Bluetooth Meat Thermometer

Because just reading a thermometer is so 2008. Get it here.
amazon.com

Because just reading a thermometer is so 2008. Get it here.

8. Brass Knuckles Meat Tenderizer

I PITY THE POULTRY. Get one here.
shopplasticland.com

I PITY THE POULTRY. Get one here.

9. Jikaro Fire Ring Table

Turn your fire pit into a fine grilling experience. Get it here.
amazon.com

Turn your fire pit into a fine grilling experience. Get it here.

10. Mini Sliders Burger Maker

Keep 'em coming. Buy it here.
amazon.com

Keep 'em coming. Buy it here.

11. The Pig Pig Pig Shower Curtain

Go hog wild. Get it here.
society6.com

Go hog wild. Get it here.

12. Machete Spatula

You need a spatula worthy of your ninja-like grilling abilities.
firebox.com

You need a spatula worthy of your ninja-like grilling abilities.

13. Splash Chopping Board

Suddenly it will seem all your meat is extra rare.
amazon.com

Suddenly it will seem all your meat is extra rare.

14. Ron Swanson Cutting Board

Perfect for preparing your bacon-wrapped turkey legs. Get it here.
etsy.com

Perfect for preparing your bacon-wrapped turkey legs. Get it here.

15. Meat Print Panel Hat

Encase your head in tastiness. Get it here.
etsy.com

Encase your head in tastiness. Get it here.

16. Beef Jerky Gun & Seasoning

Make your own perfectly seasoned jerky! Kit here.

17. Exotic Meats Jerkygram

Or send your dearest carnivore (so, yourself) some ~exotic~ jerky, like alligator or kangaroo!
mancrates.com

Or send your dearest carnivore (so, yourself) some ~exotic~ jerky, like alligator or kangaroo!

18. Meaty iPhone Case

For your ~juicy~ conversations. Get it here.
society6.com

For your ~juicy~ conversations. Get it here.

19. Activated Charcoal for All-Black Burgers

Use (totally safe!) activated charcoal to make these "Purgatory Burgers" and terrify friends and family.

20. Trongs

Finger tongs for finger foods! Genius.
amazon.com

Finger tongs for finger foods! Genius.

21. Pig Butcher Diagram

Learn your way around a hog.
etsy.com

Learn your way around a hog.

22. Football Salami

Yup. You need this.
normthompson.blair.com

Yup. You need this.

23. T-Bone Steak Stud Earrings

Adorn yourself in meaty goodness.
etsy.com

Adorn yourself in meaty goodness.

24. Balcony Barbecue Grill

No yard? No problem! For the meat-loving city-dweller.

25. Canned Dragon Meat

The deadliest game out there. Order some at your own risk.
thinkgeek.com

The deadliest game out there. Order some at your own risk.

26. The Ham Dogger

Is it a hamburger? A hot dog? BOTH?! Get it here.
amazon.com

Is it a hamburger? A hot dog? BOTH?! Get it here.

27. Pig Bacon Press

Because pressing bacon keep it from shriveling and shrinking, ensuring maximum crispiness.
williams-sonoma.com||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-

Because pressing bacon keep it from shriveling and shrinking, ensuring maximum crispiness.

28. Meat LOVE Wall Clock

Meat loves you.

29. Desktop Carnivorous Plant Set

Admire the master carnivores at work. Get one here!

30. Notebook Charcoal Grill

Folds up into a sleek portable grill! Get it here.

31. Narwhal Barbecue Skewers

Narwhals: Nautical masters of barbecue. Get 'em here.

32. Cheeseburger Lunch Bag

Because your bag should always match your meal.
madlabsny.com

Because your bag should always match your meal.

33. Monogrammed Forged Steak Brand

Make sure everyone knows who grilled those perfect hunks of meat.
williams-sonoma.com||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-

Make sure everyone knows who grilled those perfect hunks of meat.

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