There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who don't have any issues with flying, and those who...do.
1. When you're choosing your seat and quickly google to see if people at the back of the plane are more likely to survive a nosedive:
2. When you have to seriously consider how badly you want to go on vacation or be in your best friend's wedding:
3. When you want to sit in the emergency exit row to have some agency over your survival, but like, why is it $60 extra:
Yeah I want to survive an emergency, but I'd also like to afford things.
4. When a friend explains that you shouldn't be scared of turbulence; it's takeoff and landing that will kill you:
5. When you stress eat airport snacks at the gate:
6. When the flight attendant greets you with a smile and you wonder how they work in this aluminum death trap all day:
7. When you have the urge to interview the people sitting in the emergency exit row to make sure they will be prepared to save your life:
8. When you're listening to the safety instructions:
9. And when they tell you that even if the bag isn't inflating, oxygen is, indeed, flowing:
10. When you're casually taxiing, waiting to get a lane cleared for takeoff:
11. And then when the engine picks up and you're 98% sure you're all just barreling towards death:
12. When the wheels actually leave the ground:
13. When you can actually see the whole plane tilting to the left, to the right, or...worst of all...DOWNWARD:
14. When the plane dips even just two feet in altitude:
15. When the flight attendant asks if you'd like anything to drink:
16. When the pilot says it's going to get "just a little bumpy":
17. And when the plane won't. stop. shaking:
18. When you think about how seriously you take your own job, and remember that for the pilot, this is HIS job:
19. When the person next to you looks out the window and marvels at the wonders of air travel:
20. When the pilot announces that they are beginning their descent:
21. But then you hear the flaps come out on the wings and you're just like DEAR GOD WHAT WAS THAT:
22. And when the wheels finally, mercifully, touch the ground:
*exhales for the first time in hours*