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50 Perfect Chelsea Peretti Tweets That Are Very, Very Relatable

Always remember the golden rule: CAPS AREN'T YELLING THEY R ACTION MOVIE LEVEL INTENSITY TWEETING.

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1. When she was feeling emotional:

Need a new mattress. Mine is all worn out IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!! (2 much flinging myself onto it weeping)

2. When she was really proud of herself:

Just called my dog a paw-ty animal - TOTALLY RIFFED IT! OFF THE CUFF

3. When she was having all sorts of issues:

If u put together all the 10-minutes-late to therapys I've done id prob b cured by now

4. When she really made you think about outerwear distinctions:

cant really keep straight the difference between a jacket and a coat

5. When she got winded from being healthy:

6. When her simile game was on point:

I bought some sweatpants today that feel like making love to a summer cloud..... #poetry

7. When she really loved blankets:

blankets remain the best invention if i had invented them ppl would never hear the end of it

8. When she was super hyped about her nighttime routine:

I'M ABOUT TO CRUSH THIS MOUTHGUARD AND WHITE NOISE MACHINE AND BLANKETS #gettinghypedforbed

9. When she was reflecting on her childhood:

I wish I were a kid again, where I had no intellectual understanding of the ills of the world + just absorbed dark energies

10. When she took a stand on the big issues:

I don't think self closing drawers are that cool

11. When she was just like everyone else and loved Viola Davis's award acceptance speeches:

VIOLA NEEDS TO RELEASE A DVD OF ALL HER SPEECHES

12. When she felt really strongly about this picture:

And even posted a 25-second podcast about it.

13. When she needed to express herself:

Gonna start shouting I'M DOING ME at people when I get upset

14. When she became a new type of bookworm:

Yesterday I bought a book bc I thought it would be a "fun pop of color" on a table in my house. I'm certainly an intellectual deep person!

15. When she was #TooReal about adulthood:

One cool thing about being an adult is that you look dead all the time in photos and in real life

16. When she was asking for social etiquette advice:

Is it ok 2 ask a stranger the hypothetical question: what if you were to shut up

17. When she was really excited about her choices:

18. When she was genuinely asking for fashion advice:

19. When she decided staying in bed would just be easier:

Kicking my blankets off in the morning isn't turning out to be enough of a leg workout

20. When she needed some help communicating:

is it ok in a room of people to softly say: "surrounded by people yet so alone"

21. When she came up with the most genius invention:

Fuck. I can't get off the internet. I wish someone could send me a link to a shower and when I clicked I found myself in it

22. When she described every person with anxiety's thoughts at all times:

"May I be excused to go sit around and cry?"

23. When she had one last request:

IF I DIE PLEASE WRITE "LOL" ON MY GRAVESTONE

24. When she needed to get some new friends:

Imagine if a friend threw a brick through your window right now as a joke

25. When she asked the one true savior for advice:

26. When she was wondering if she wasn't the only one:

Does everyone keep an "If I turn up dead" folder on their desktop with names of potential suspects?

27. When she just wanted to be liked:

i wish i had this lil julie andrews vibe or just the vibe of anyone cute that people like

28. When livetweeting went too far:

should i livetweet never getting out of bed

29. When she was betrayed by her friend:

BAD NEWS @AndySamberg of @thelonelyisland and @Brooklyn99FOX WAS UNAVAIL 2 FT ⁉️⁉️v weird most ppl love 2 FT a ton

30. When she was just being honest:

TECHNICALLY EVERYONE SHOULD BE CRYING AT ALL TIMES

31. When she was really annoyed:

One thing that really irritates me is a thousand things

32. When she regretted being a good friend:

Thing I've most regretted saying in life: "Watch out you're about to get hit by a car" to @peteholmes just now

33. When she was really good at restaurant etiquette:

One cool thing to do at a restaurant is wipe your blush off with bread

34. When she was scared of a small child:

Is it ok 2 tell someone their kid looks like a demon to the point where you're scared 2 make eye contact with it

35. When she had a new take on an old phrase:

Home is where the majority of my stuff is, I have no heart

36. When love trumped bad fashion on her nephews:

Just saw pic of my nephews wearing both crocs & fedoras and I was just like "that's fine" IT'S CALLED LOVE + IT OVERCOMES ALL PREJUDICE

37. When she was having an existential crisis:

38. When her social anxiety flared up:

EVEN IF I AM PHYSICALLY GOING TO UR THING - MENTALLY I AM UNABLE TO ATTEND

39. When she just wanted to try something new:

currently waving a gun in this restaurant shouting: "alright, listen up everybody! I want 1 bite off of every plate"

40. When she wanted to get out quick after a solid joke:

Trying to plan a family getaway, where I getaway from my family. Solid joke aaaand bye

41. When she needed to reassure herself:

At parties a thing I like to yell is "I THRIVE ON THIS!"

42. When she just wanted to be caring:

When someone's telling you something is it ok to say "who cares" if you do it tenderly and touch their arm?

43. When time caught up with her:

Can't believe it's only 8:19 am life is a trip

44. When she realized the truth about surprise parties:

Surprise parties are fun to plan if you like lying 2 people + then shouting at them!

45. When she was met with a sobering reality:

In a restaurant looking at a hot couple thinking that's crazy even hot people have to chew and shit

46. When she started questioning things:

what is life lol who are we lol what is our purpose lol

47. When she found out what Twitter really was like:

twitter is like someone talking endlessly and you tune out and look over and you're like oh you're still talking

48. When she was feeling charitable:

I want to start a charity for people who don't follow me. Volunteers hand-deliver printed tweets to their door

49. Shoutout to her actual brother, BuzzFeed CEO Jonah Peretti:

One time we came home and found my brother crying to Baywatch

50. And when she was filled with regret:

Have you ever regretted every tweet you've ever posted every email you've ever sent every fb photo upload every live convo every text + fax?

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